at him with a twinkle I've never seen before.
12
XIA
I hate packing. It's like torture in the most boring and tedious form. Shana, on the other hand, seems to be enjoying it. I cut my eyes over to her and watch as she hums a tune while folding a long black shirt, placing it neatly in a pile. If this was anyone else, I might have tried to get out of it, but I know she'd help me if the tables were flipped. Being a good friend can really suck sometimes.
"How did you manage to get all this stuff in here?" I got stuck packing her makeup and beauty supplies drawer, but the damn thing seems bottomless. We are almost done besides this drawer. "No one needs this many shades of pink fingernail polish," I say, grabbing another handful and packing it away.
"Oh whatever," she says, securing a piece of clear tape along the top of a box. The word clothes is written in black marker on the side. "You'll be missing me and my pink fingernails while I'm gone.”
"I really will." I pout. Shana isn't taking classes this summer so she has to go back home to San Francisco until fall and I’m going to hate every minute of it.
"I'll miss you too," she says. I smile and grab the last few items from the drawer, then look over my shoulder just in time to see her plopping down on her bed. She looks sad, and for the first time in a while I feel grateful for my father. After freshman year, he'd pulled strings to make sure Shana and I were matched as roommates each term. Come fall, we'll be moving separately into off-campus housing. She’ll be moving in with Kyle, and it will be the first time since starting college that I won't have a roommate. I'm excited, but it will be weird not having her around.
"You know, Lucas is staying for the summer, too. So… I won't be leaving you totally alone.” She grins. “Maybe you two will continue to hit it off and the four of us can do more double dates. It’s not like we have to worry about our guys getting along since they’re already best friends.” I can see the excitement on her face, and for the first time since the date with Lucas, I start to feel a bit weird. I like him, I really do, but imagining myself with him in an official sense… Just, God, I don’t know. It’s a lot. But maybe it’s a good thing. Jordan has his place in my life and maybe I haven’t been able to see past him because I’ve never tried.
“Yeah, that would be fun,” I say. Shana’s eyes narrow as if she's trying to read me.
“Okay, spill, what’s going on?” she finally says.
“What do you mean?”
“We are talking about bestie dating epicness here and you respond like I just asked you to do something dreadful.”
“No, I said it would be fun.”
“Your mouth said that, but your tone said something else entirely. So… spill.” Placing a hand on her hip, she stares at me. I didn’t plan on talking to her about Jordan. I guess I'm sort of embarrassed, but this has been so overwhelming. A part of me wants to just get it out. Hell, maybe she’ll have some advice I can work with.
“Fine.” I huff, flopping down next to her. “I’m meeting Jordan tonight.”
“ No… don’t try and change the subject.”
“Shana, he is the subject.” It only takes a second for what I’m saying to register, and when it does, shock takes over her expression.
“No fucking way. Are you two—”
“No… I mean, we have…” I fumble.
“Holy shit.”
“But it was just that one time and—”
“Holy shit,” she repeats.
“It’s not going to happen again,” I finish.
“Why the fuck not?” she exclaims. “You two are so close—like, creepy close—to be just friends.”
“No. It’s not going to—”
“I’ve always wondered about that,” she interrupts, and I stand, rubbing my palms down my face. “It’s sweet, but different, ya know? Plus… God, that boy is like walking sex… I swear, Zee you better not be punking out. You should—”
“Stop,” I say, louder than I mean to. “It shouldn’t have happened, okay?” She’s still looking at me like her eyes are about to fall out of her head and pain settles in my chest.
Her shoulders slouch and she looks at the floor for a second before meeting my gaze again. "What happened?"
"We were drunk.” I shrug. “And we