was an allergic reaction. I swear to God I didn’t know. I had a bunch of snacks in my bag. Kenzie ate my peanut butter cookies while I was in the bathroom. I found her unconscious in the kitchen.”
“Oh no,” I say.
“I didn’t know, Zee. I would’ve never brought them into the house if I did.” Tears pool in his eyes. “I thought she just went to play somewhere. I don’t know how long she was out; she was already turning blue when I found her. Cherry gave her a shot from her EpiPen but she was already unconscious. We called the ambulance but it took them forever to get to the house. I think they kept missing the turn.”
“Did she have a heart rate? Was she breathing?”
“By the time they got there they heard signs of breathing but she hadn’t woken up.”
“Oh shit,” I say, placing a hand over my mouth.
“And Jordan,” he says. “He was fine until we got here, but it was like the moment we walked through the doors he just shut down.”
“He hates this place,” I say as I step backwards toward the hall. “I’ll be back.”
I make my way down the short corridor and walk up to the men’s bathroom. “Jordan?” I say, banging hard on the door. It swings open and King appears with terror written on his face.
“I can’t get him out,” he says, looking past me at the nurse pushing an older man in a wheelchair down the hall.
“Move,” I say, pressing against the door and walking in.
Jordan crouches with his back against the wall, staring down at the floor with his hands in his hair. I run over and drop to my knees in front of him.
“Jordan,” I call. He doesn’t look up, just continues to stare at the floor beneath us.
“I’m going to go back out,” King says, and I watch him run through the door before I turn back to Jordan. My hand trembles as I stroke him gently up the side of his face and over his neck.
“Jordan, look at me,” I say. He’s sweating, but I press my head against his forehead anyway and speak softly.
“I know,” I say. “I don’t want to be here either, but you’re not alone.”
A deep shudder rolls through him as his jaw clenches and he begins shaking his head slightly. He’s still looking down when I notice unmistakable tears in his eyes, falling from his lashes.
“It’s not fair,” he says, shooting to his feet. I stand back and scroll his face. Torment, pain, and anger merge into one as they bleed from him.
“It’s not fucking fair,” he yells, slamming his fist down on the counter before grabbing the trashcan and throwing it across the room. Tears stream down his face as the can slams against the wall with a loud clatter. His breathing is heavy, his fists clenched at his sides as he looks around the room. I step in front of him, placing my hands on his shoulders, trying to force him to look at me.
“We can leave,” I say, sliding my hands across his shoulders and over his neck. “Baby, we can leave. We’ll call and find out what’s going on with Kenzie. We don’t have to stay if you don’t want.”
His breathing is still sharp, and it takes a while, but eventually he looks at me as tears roll down my cheeks.
“We can leave.” I sniffle.
His eyes are wide, but clarity starts to rise in them as he stares at me, slowly nodding his head, taking deep breaths.
“Okay,” he finally says, and though he is still trembling his tears have stopped.
After a few moments we exit the restroom and head down the hall toward the sitting area. Jordan’s face is absent of emotion. Roman makes eye contact with me as we approach.
I don’t see King anywhere. Roman walks toward us, looking from me to Jordan before meeting my eyes again. “I’ll call you,” I mouth silently. His eyes are full of concern, but he stops and nods. Jordan and I don’t stop as we head straight for the exit.
21
XIA
Jordan is quiet the rest of the evening. My car is still at the hospital. When we got to the parking lot I didn’t think he should be driving but he was pretty insistent so I didn’t fight. He hit the highway and we drove for a while as my thoughts bounced between worries for Kenzie, for Jordan, possibly being pregnant, and that weird photograph of my parents. It’s