tongue. Every dirty detail of what happened last night with Jordan. The amazing words he spoke. The incredible sex. How I’d been waiting for a night like that with him for what seems like my whole life. But I don’t speak them. I can’t tell her because telling her what happened will mean admitting out loud that last night was a mistake and I don’t think I can take that right now. She’ll want to know why I did it and what he said this morning, but I’ve never told her about my feelings for him. I haven’t told anyone but my mother and the only reason she knows is because she’s one of those creepy moms that seems to know everything.
“He’s just as disappointed in my father as I am, plus we had a bit too much to drink last night and… I just wanted to get a little distance before having to deal with my parents tonight at dinner. I’m so scared for my mom. She’s going to be so heartbroken.” Shana shifts on my bed, leaning forward and wrapping her arms around me. I tear up again as I lay my head on her shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Zee, for both of you,” she says.
“Thanks.” I nod, pulling away from her and wiping my eyes. “We’ll get through it.” Shana looks at me with a heaviness that makes me want to cry again. I hate it when people pity me but I know it’s out of concern.
“So, what can I do? What do you want to do today?”
I sniffle and do my best to shake off the sense of doom as I run my hands over my face. “Let’s go grab some breakfast then get some studying done. I think I’m ready for the exam but another once over the material couldn’t hurt,”
“Sounds good.” She smiles as she slides off my bed. “But before we hit the books, we gotta cheer you up.” She scurries over to her dresser and starts pulling out clothes. “Let’s go shopping.”
“Are we done yet?” Shana glances up from her phone with a flicker of excitement in her eyes.
“Why? What did Kyle text you?” I exhale, lowering my pencil to the table. We have been in the campus library for the last two hours studying for our calculus exam, and it’s nearly five thirty p.m. I told my mother that I’d be home earlier, which wasn’t a lie… at the time. Shana and I ended up at Chichi’s for brunch and spent the rest of the afternoon at the mall. I’m not usually a big spender but the retail therapy didn’t hurt and I came away from it with an expensive pair of pumps and a clearer conscious.
“Horses.” Shana grins, “He’s taking me on a buggy ride.”
“Wow, tonight? That’s so sweet.” I’m excited for her, I really am, but I can't ignore the pang of loneliness that hits me deep in my chest.
“Oh no, sorry, the buggy ride is for Wednesday night, like a celebration for finishing exams. Tonight he wants to do dinner. God, he’s just been so amazing,” she says relaxing back into her chair. “The other night, by the time I got to his house, he already had a full bubble bath drawn. I assumed he planned it for both of us, which I was perfectly fine with, you know what I mean?” She raises a brow while giving me a knowing look.
I mirror her, raising a brow and smiling because I’m too afraid that she will sniff out how pathetic I’m feeling right now.
“Well. I was so wrong. As soon as I got there he handed me a full glass of wine, kissed the crap out of me, and carried me to the tub. It was so incredible.”
“Wow. Go, Kyle. He’s pulling out all the stops,” I say. Damn, was that my jealousy or the truth talking? I hang out with guys, but I've never had one do anything nearly as romantic. Her smile immediately falls and she looks at me with a pinched brow.
“All the stops? Shit, do you think he’s doing too much? Like—” I place an elbow on the table and watch her eyes flicker from side to side as she grasps for words. “Like he’s trying to compensate for something?”
“No… what makes you say that?”
“I don’t know.” She exhales. “I mean, he’s amazing, but almost too amazing. What if he has a love child or… I don’t know, a missing toe or something?”
“What?” I laugh. “Haven’t