later. Cool?"
I completely understand her need for space but I can't help feeling we have left something unresolved. "Zee, I think we should talk more. I mean, the shit we did last night…"
"It’s okay, J, seriously. By the time I get back all the weirdness will be gone and we can get back to normal.”
I stare at her, at a loss for words as she speaks.
“Shana will be on the way in about ten minutes, so I’m going to take a quick shower.” She stands, grabbing her duffel from my closet. "Get some studying done. I'll see you tonight," she says before walking into my bathroom and shutting the door.
7
XIA
Well, I lied.
I race down the stairs toward the white Honda sitting in front of Jordan's house, being sure to grab my backpack before I pull the door closed behind me. I ordered an Uber and I pray that Jordan doesn’t notice. That he doesn’t follow me down to say hi to Shana, or something.
I just gotta get out of here. I wasn’t expecting this morning to be this way. God, why didn't I stop it when I could’ve? I knew that we were drunk. I knew that there was a chance that it was the alcohol talking and he might not be one hundred percent genuine in his words, but never did I imagine he’d call it a mistake. Me… me a mistake.
“Hi, I’m Donnie and I’ll be your driver for this trip. Before we start, do you need to make any additional stops?” the driver asks once I hop into the car.
“No, just to my dorm,” I say, looking back over at Jordan’s front door.
“I have you set going to the college, but I always ask because one time this freshman took me all the way…”
“No. No, I'm good. Just take me to the school.” My heart is starting to race as I keep imagining Jordan bursting out of the house and catching me in the Uber. I think I’ve had my fill of uncomfortable conversations with him for a lifetime. “No surprise stops, can we just go?” I say forcing a tight smile. I’m sure Donnie can tell, but it’s the best I can do right now. I feel like such a bitch but dude needs to drive.
“Okay.” He nods and pulls away. Surprisingly, the drive is quiet, considering how chatty he was when I got into the vehicle. He hasn’t tried to make small talk.
I'm not really meeting Shana for breakfast, not even lunch. She did text me last night asking if I wanted to get together for a study session, which is something I really need to do, but I told Jordan I’d come back. I really don't want him to know that I'm as affected by this as I am. God. I didn't expect it to hurt this much. I hoped that things were finally making a change for the better with us and that maybe, just maybe, the alcohol was enough to help us express our feelings. But that wasn't it. It was just… sex. Raw. Carnal. Passionate. Fucking great. He was so dominant, yet gentle at the same time. I know he knows me inside and out. A lifelong friendship will do that, but he also knew exactly where to touch, how to kiss… it was like he’s studied my body. It was perfect. Something I won't be forgetting for a very long time, but something I probably need to forget as soon as possible.
We pull up to my dorm and I tip the driver an extra five dollars before getting out of the vehicle. It’s a pretty big tip for the cost of the ride but I consider it my peace offering for snapping at him earlier. He smiles, just as happy as he was when I first approached his car, and tells me to have an amazing day.
Yeah, amazing. Sure.
I walk quickly toward the front door, nodding to my neighbor Carrie as she exits the building. It’s still early and besides the small group of students sitting on the bench outside, I don’t run into anyone else on my way up.
As I'm approaching my dorm room I can't help but pray Shana isn't there, even though I know she probably is. She doesn’t usually stay over at her boyfriend’s on Friday nights because he works late. And as close as we have grown, I know she's going to sense something's wrong. I haven't decided if I want to tell her the