like he’s fighting himself. Goodness, this is Jordan. Jordan, my best friend. Jordan, the guy I've known my entire life. But. This is Jordan. The incredibly sexy, incredibly caring boy who has turned into the man I can't stop thinking about.
"I won't sleep in here tonight because I can't trust myself. It's hard enough as it is." His smooth baritone causes goosebumps to rise on my skin and I am at war with what I should do and what I want to do.
"What's the hard part?" I ask.
Jordan’s fingers lace with mine as we stand nose to nose, our feet planted firmly beneath us. He hesitates, closing his eyes and taking a full breath. I wait, but his words never come. He tightens his grip on my hands and when he turns and presses me against the wall, I let it happen. I want it to happen. A thrill rolls down my spine, along with heat and a deep-seated need to explore him, this, us… whatever it is. His breathing grows deeper as he slides his forehead from mine, trailing his nose across my cheek and down my neck.
"Goddammit, Xia," he says against my ear. His hands squeeze mine tighter and I can tell he's trying hard to keep them in place. Leaning my head back, I give him more access to my neck, his lips dragging across my collar bone causing my nipples to harden. I squeeze my thighs together, aching for some relief. I know this is wrong, we shouldn’t be doing this now. I’m in the middle of a family crisis and he just broke up with his girlfriend, but instead of thinking about any of those things, I’m imagining him. How his tongue would feel in my mouth, how his hands would feel on my ass, on my breasts. How he’d feel between my legs. Him, my best friend. Fuck, is this really happening?
My hands roam up his arms and I can't stop them, not with him so close. I'm losing the battle and when he starts trailing kisses along the side of my face, I feel like I'm losing my mind.
"The hardest part, Zee," he says against my lips. “Is trying not to tell you I'm in love with you."
Those words are all it takes. I lean forward and press my lips to his. He groans, running a hand up my back, pressing me closer. We kiss sloppily, a hint of beer and salt lingering on his tongue as I savor his taste. It's everything I dreamed it would be and so much more. The voice in my head keeps telling me to stop this, that we've had too much to drink, that his words could mean absolutely nothing, but when he starts to back me toward the bed my need takes over. I want all of him. I've wanted all of him for so damn long. I break our kiss long enough to snatch off the sweatshirt and cami I have underneath. I’m not wearing a bra, so I'm exposed to him. Goosebumps rise on my skin as his eyes scroll my body. He pulls his bottom lip into his mouth and bites down before pulling his T-shirt over his head and throwing it to the floor. He pushes me back on the bed, falls to his knees between my legs, and begins unbuttoning my jeans. I rear up to make it easier for him as he slides them off my legs and tosses them to the floor. My skin burns as his hands slide up my body. His lips follow close behind. He slows briefly to tease my breast with his tongue as he crawls on top of me. Our lips crash together and his erection presses hard between my legs. I moan and my hips grind against him, needing more of him.
"This is why I can't be in here. It's so hard trying to stop myself from wanting this."
"Well, don't." Please, don’t. Want this… want this with me.
His fingers tease my nipples as he trails kisses along my neck and collarbone until he begins moving back down my body. I'm panting and trying desperately to get my breathing under control but when he slides my panties to the side and buries his face between my legs, I all but scream. My hips grind with the motion of his tongue as I fist his bed sheets, unable to stop my loud cries. For a split second, I consider the guys downstairs, what could