Rogue," he snapped. "I love you and I want you and I fucking need you. But loving you feels like loving sand I'm gripping tight in my fist while the tide rushes in to claim it. And as much as I want to be able to hold onto you, every time a wave hits, a bit more of the sand is stolen. How long until he takes every piece of you from me? I can't fucking stand it. I can't survive it."
"You're seriously saying all of this to me over one kiss?" I asked him incredulously. "When you've literally watched me fuck Maverick? You've shared me with him, touched me at the same time as him and you never once showed even the slightest hint of jealousy. But now-"
"Are you kidding me? Of course I'm fucking jealous when I see you with Rick. Especially after finding out that you fucked him when we were sixteen, but it's not the same as-"
"I never fucked him back then," I growled furiously. "Chase got that shit wrong. And if he or you had wanted to know the truth about that then you should have just fucking asked me. And if you're so desperate to know about me losing my virginity then you'll be pleased to hear that it wasn't with anyone you know. It was just some asshole who I dated when I was homeless and alone and desperate for someone to love me. Which he didn't by the way - he just liked fucking girls my age. And when he shoved his cock into me it fucking hurt, and I mostly just waited for it to be over, which thankfully it was fast enough. Does that make you feel better?"
"Of course it fucking doesn't," JJ snarled, placing his palms flat on the desk and glaring at me over it. "Nothing that happened to you while you were gone makes me happy, Rogue. It haunts me at night, and it consumes me during the day. When you tell me stories like that, they cut into me and make me fucking bleed for you. Because I love you, Rogue. I've been in love with you since before I was old enough to even understand what love was. You're it for me. I've always known that. But if we keep doing this and I have to watch Fox take you from me it's going to destroy me, and I can't fucking survive that."
"I'm not going to-"
"I know Fox. He always gets what he wants. And that's you. All of you. Not the bits and pieces you're willing to share. And I saw the way you were looking at him when he kissed you. You want that too, you want him and maybe you want me and Maverick as well, but that's not how these things work out, is it? One day you're gonna want the whole picket fence and two point four kids thing, and the stripper who makes you laugh and fucks you like a pro won't be the choice you make."
"Name one single thing about me that makes you believe I want a freaking picket fence?" I demanded. "None of this is on me. It's just your insecurities. I've made it pretty goddamn clear how much I like you - how much I want you-"
"How much you want my cock you mean," he sneered. "Don't think I don't see it in your eyes. When you fuck me, I'm it - the only thing in your pretty little world, but the moment we finish, that look goes away. I lose you every single time as you retreat back behind your walls and push me firmly back out. But that's not how you look at him. You look at him like he's half way through carving a door for you to step through. So I think it's better we squash this now."
"Are you saying you don't want to be with me anymore?" I asked, something fissuring inside my chest and stopping the air from making its way down into my lungs as pain pressed in on me from all sides.
"Be with you?" JJ scoffed. "You were never mine though, were you? So maybe it's best if I just get back to my job and you can get back to your destiny of becoming the Harlequin princess Fox always knew you'd be."
"Your job?"
"Yeah. I don’t fuck for free, Rogue, and you knew that well enough when you dropped your panties for me." JJ snatched a piece