to each other and be able to claim the love they were owed. But that could only happen without me there to destroy their happily ever after and that meant I had to make sure they understood that they were far better off with me gone and they always had been.
Thunder rumbled in the distance, lightning forking through the clouds way out over the sea like even the sky knew that this was it. Our paths had always been leading here and now it was time for fate to run its course.
I looked back towards the hotel, unsure if I was hoping for one last glimpse of my boys or if I was glad they still hadn't realised I was missing before lifting my phone and opening the camera app.
I held the camera up to look at myself, taking a moment to wipe the tears from my cheeks and draw in a steadying breath. Then I caught hold of each and every emotion in me, all of my feelings over doing this and what it would mean for me and them and I just bundled it all away. I crushed it down inside me and fought it with an iron fist until finally, my face fell blank and I was left numb to it all.
If I was being totally honest, it was a relief. Everything that had happened since the day of the carnival had been eating away at me piece by piece up until this moment. I'd been cast adrift, aching for Chase, aching for Fox, not knowing what I could have done differently while feeling certain I'd done it all wrong.
But now that was gone. And as I set the camera recording, there wasn't so much as a flicker of that girl left in me. I was the girl I'd been before I woke up in that shallow grave. I was the empty vessel that could never be filled. I was the broken girl who no one ever wanted to keep in the end. And maybe that was for the best.
"Well," I began, my voice steady and gaze hard. "If you're watching this now, then you already know I'm gone. And don't worry, I won't be coming back. I got what I wanted from each of you and as much as I'm sure you won't want to believe it, it was this. Your destruction. Your pain." I forced the hint of a smile to my lips before I went on. "Ten long years ago, the four of you broke me. You took away the only good I'd ever had in my life and threw me to the wolves out there on the streets. So now I broke you back."
I went on, forcing the words past my tongue and ignoring the way they burned like acid as they spilled from my lips. I mocked them with my gaze and used the mask I'd perfected so long ago to sell them every single line of it. Because they had to believe this if they were going to accept it. They had to hate me if they were going to stand a chance at loving each other again. And I needed to be sure they wouldn't try to come for me. I'd made my choice and this was it. No come backs, no shining knights or even cunning thieves trying to rescue me. This was how our story ended and that was the way it had to be.
When I finished the recording, I placed my phone down beside me with the message ready to play when they discovered it.
I squeezed Mutt tight, my eyes burning and I apologised to him once more and he whimpered as he nuzzled into me like he understood exactly what was happening.
But I couldn't change my mind. Not even for him. So I placed him down on the jetty and jumped into the final boat, tossing the mooring line onto the deck as I moved to start the engine.
Mutt barked at me in a clear plea, his little eyes imploring me to come back and the knowledge that I never would burned through my heart like a blazing knife, leaving a scar which I knew wouldn't ever heal right.
But this wasn't about me.
I didn't matter.
I turned my eyes to the horizon as the thunder crashed through the heavens again, nearer this time with the lightning forking right behind it off to the south.
I let the throttle loose and a mournful howl coloured the air as Mutt