drawn on the material of his eyepatch to match the one that still worked. It was totally subtle. I doubted anyone would even notice he didn't just have his two normal, boring eyes.
"Rogue, you asshole," he snarled at me as Mutt yipped at him from the backseat in warning and I started up the engine. "I'm not going out looking like this."
"Wow, ungrateful much?" I teased, driving away from the house towards the gates so that he couldn't get any dumb ideas about trying to get out. I locked the doors for good measure.
"I look fucking ridiculous," Chase said angrily.
"So take the patch off if you're gonna be all pissy about it," I suggested, laughing as he lunged at me and snatched the Green Power Ranger cap from my head.
"Fuck you," he muttered, putting it on and tugging the peak low to shadow his face.
"Aww don't be a baby about it, Ace. You can draw a cock on my face if it'll make you feel better?" I offered him the sharpie, but he just snatched it and tossed it back into the glovebox.
"How about I just get revenge some other time instead," he said and I grinned.
"Bring it on, bad boy. I'll start sleeping with one eye open - unless you've got that covered already?"
"Seriously? You're gonna make this a joke?" He pointed at his face angrily but I didn’t care.
I shrugged because yeah, I would be making it a joke and he would stop being a bitch about it. Just like the time I fell off of Rick's bike when I tried to ride it and Chase told me not to be a bitch about my road rash. And that had hurt like a motherfucker.
I was forced to stop at the gates as the Harlequins frowned at us in confusion but luckily Chase didn’t seem inclined to make a one legged break for it.
"Hey," Basset said, moving to stand by my window and looking between me and Chase curiously. "I didn't know you were heading out today."
"Emergency enema," I explained, jerking a thumb at Chase who looked a little less than pleased about my cover story.
"Oh tell the whole fucking world then," he snarled, playing along despite the fact that he clearly wasn't happy about it. But we’d set the parameters for running cons back when we were eleven and the rules were clear: once someone started a story you had to stick with it no matter what. No contradictions, no changing it up.
"Yeah well, I'm not the one who has a bunged up back door," I replied with a shrug, leaning towards Basset and lowering my voice. "I told him he was eating too much fibre. Or not enough fibre… I dunno. But there was a definite fibre miscalculation there because he's been squatting on the toilet all of yesterday and all fucking morning too, so the doctors told him I had to rush him in before there was a back up. Wouldn't want it to go bang, you know?"
Basset nodded seriously, motioning for the others to open the gates for us and I flashed him a smile before heading on through.
"Go bang?" Chase asked, half laughing while trying to maintain his broody, moody thing.
"Yup. Poosplosion. Can you imagine?"
"I'd rather not."
"Good point. Shall we grab some food?"
"What part of that visual made you hungry?" Chase demanded and I just shrugged as I headed towards the nearest drive thru to load us up on car snacks for the journey.
"Dude, I was born hungry."
"Everyone was born hungry. That's literally the only thing babies care about,” Chase pointed out.
"I'm pretty sure babies care about all kinds of things. Like world domination and cute cat videos and generally trying to fuck with people whenever possible. Anyway, have you got your wallet to pay for all this food?" I asked.
"No, I don't have my fucking wallet. This is your day out, not mine."
"Oh, don't worry. I grabbed it on our way out of your room." I tugged his wallet from my pocket and gave it a little shake to show him as we pulled into the drive thru and I started eyeing the menu excitedly.
"You're a fucking menace," Chase grumbled as I started picking out snacks for us, but I could see the corner of his mouth lifting just a little, so I knew he liked it.
"And you're a buzz kill. But somehow it works, doesn't it?"
I pulled up to the window and ordered us a shit ton of food on Chase and