the corners of my mind. “You’re a goddess forsaken by a fool. And he bled, and bled, and bled for you in penance, but it was still just the blood of a fool.”
“Chase, don’t. You need to rest, you need to get better. You’re not thinking straight,” she urged.
“What would I get better for?” I murmured as sleep tried harder to claim me, but I didn’t want to go back to the dark. That was where all my fears lay. I wanted to stay here in my daydream and hold onto a forged reality where Rogue rested her head on my chest and things didn’t seem so bleak.
“For me,” she said. “I’ll break if you leave again. Please don’t go.”
“Wouldn’t want that,” I said sleepily, my eye sliding closed as sleep fought to kidnap me. “But I’m good at breaking things. Don’t always mean to, but they tend to end up broken anyway.”
“Just rest,” she urged.
“Only if you promise you’ll be here when I wake up.” I didn’t hold much hope of that, but even just a sliver of it was enough to help me let go of the fantasy I was trying so desperately to keep alive.
“I’ll be here.” She hooked her little finger around mine and kept it there as the drugs washed deeper into my veins, and soon there was only black.
I paced the hall leading to the front door, Mutt looking from me to the door with a low whine in his throat. He was missing Rogue and fuck, I was too, even if she did hate me. And I’d been anxious as hell since Chase had shown up and been admitted to hospital. I didn’t sleep, I just festered, waiting and waiting for them to come home. And today, after five days in hospital with Rogue never leaving his side, he finally would.
How could this have happened?
We’d stopped looking for him. We should have been looking all this time. All this time.
Fox had agreed he could stay here at Harlequin House for his recovery period but that was it. I couldn’t even think about him leaving again though, I just needed him here in this house. I needed to see him and convince myself he was actually still in this world. Because frankly I was having a hard goddamn time believing it.
Fucking Shawn had had him and we hadn’t known. Rogue had kept Fox informed on anything Chase said, and Fox always filled me in. And we’d all been stunned silent when we’d found out Miss Mabel was still alive, locked down in a basement by her asshole nephew. It was sickening, and we were definitely going to do something about it just as soon as we could figure out how.
My mind turned to my brother again. I felt like I’d failed Chase. I’d never felt the finality of his death even after all these weeks. Maybe I should have realised he was out there. Maybe-
“They’re almost here,” Fox’s deep voice came from behind me and I twisted around, finding him standing in the shadows with his shoulder propped against the wall and his eyes on his phone.
I had no idea how long he’d been there, but I guessed it was long enough for him to see what a wreck I was. Rogue was bringing Chase back in a wheelchair accessible cab that Fox had booked for them and my heart was lurching in every direction as I waited for them to arrive.
“He’s not back in the Crew, JJ,” Fox said in a low voice as he tucked his phone away.
“I know,” I said quickly.
“Just don’t get attached to him being here. I know what you’re like.”
“The guy’s been captive to fucking Shawn, Fox,” I took a step toward him as I bristled at those words. “I thought he was dead. What do you expect me to be like?” I’d barely slept since we’d left him at the hospital, working extra hours just so I could try and keep myself busy and not think about all the shit that must have been happening to him at Shawn’s hands.
Rogue answered my texts about him with one word responses, clearly still pissed as hell at me and I couldn’t even blame her. I’d been a fucking asshole, and I’d felt like a dick about it ever since, but I didn’t even know what to do to fix it at this point. She’d moved closer to Fox every day since we’d called it quits just like I’d known