I bite my lower lip, and my leg trembles on the bed. I don’t want them to hate me for keeping Alex from them. My biggest fear is them making me feel guilty about not trying hard enough or encouraging Clayton to file for some type of custody.
“I know what you’re thinking. No, they don’t hate you. They’re pretty pissed at me, and my mom understands your hesitation. If you’d like, you can call her and talk to her. Maybe that’ll help you.”
I nod in agreement. “I’d like that a lot. Thank you.”
Clayton gets on his cell phone and then looks at me. “All set. I texted you her number. Let me get Alex ready and go to camp.” He leans over and kisses my cheek. “Be back.”
I nod again, unsure of what to say. Once he’s out of the bedroom, I pick up my phone and breathe in and out a few times before calling her.
Michelle Turner.
“Hello?” A nice voice comes through the phone.
“Hi, Mrs. Turner. My name is Ashley Jackson.”
Her gasp is loud, and I’m not sure how to take it. “I’ve been hoping to hear from you, dear. It’s so nice to finally talk to you. How are you?”
I adjust my position on the bed and smile. “I’m good. It’s nice to talk to you too. I’m sorry it’s taken us a while to talk. Things kind of got a little hairy for a while then we had to figure out things. Thank you for giving us the space we needed. I know it’s been hard on you and Mr. Turner for not coming here sooner to meet Alex.”
“We get it, dear. No one blames you for anything.” She pauses for a beat. “You can blame that on my son of a bitch, son. Pardon my language, but we’re not on speaking terms right now.” She pauses. “I’d like to meet you first if that’s okay, and then we can build on meeting Alex. I hope that’s okay.”
“That’s okay. It sounds like a plan. I have off today if you’d like to meet for lunch?”
Michelle quickly agrees, and we plan to meet at a café for lunch. Once I disconnect from the call, I get up and meet Alex and Clayton in the kitchen.
“Good morning, honey.” I kiss the top of Alex’s head. “How’d you sleep?”
“Really good. Do you have to work today?”
“No. I have it off.” I kneel. “Do you want to do something after you’re done with camp? Maybe we can go for a walk in the park?”
“Yeah! That sounds fun. Dad, can you come too?”
Clayton looks at me, and I answer, “Your dad’s coming too. We’ll have dinner first, then go to the playground and get ice cream for dessert.”
“This is the best morning.”
Alex leaps in my arms, nearly causing me to fall. He wraps his arms around my neck and holds me tight.
After watching Clayton drive away with Alex, I put on my sneakers and go for a run. There’s so much on my mind, and I need to figure out what to do. The beating sun shines on me, and music is blasting in my ears from my iPhone. Instead of listening to country music, my go-to, I have my hip-hop playlist on random. The beats pulse through and push me to keep my pace. I’m on mile three and it’s been about twenty minutes.
I’ve always been a runner. When I was pregnant with Alex, I was a part of a bootcamp-style workout and did that along with yoga until my doctor made me stop and put me on bed rest. It sucked, and I hated him for doing that, but I also knew it was for the best.
Turning the corner, I push myself harder, moving faster than I have in a while. Thoughts about my future come into play, and I want it all with Clayton. He’s an amazing father to our son and has made me feel loved and cherished.
I want a future with him. The connection between us is undeniable. The way I feel about him won’t change, and I know he loves me too.
I come to a jog when I hit the crosswalk, and the red light is flashing. I bend over slightly to catch my breath and look at the time. It’s been thirty minutes. The camp’s about a seven-minute drive so Clayton should be home.
My phone goes off, and it’s Clayton. I stop and try to catch my breath before answering.
“Hey. What’s…”
“Baby! Shit. Fuck. I’m so