crazy personality. It’s what the man in the letters loved most about her. She loved with her whole heart but had moments when her mood was a tornado.
Quick.
Fast.
Destructive.
The box containing the letters were on the closet floor behind containers of clothes that have been put away all these years. Hundreds of letters, some were short, some were long, some were on wide-ruled paper, and some were on sticky notes. Each word in the letters had heart and love behind the words. The simplest letter held that emotion. As I held each letter in my hands, I felt his love for her. He wanted to build a life with her and one day grow old. He wanted to look at the life they built together and smile because he was with her.
The letters always started with My Dearest Kelly and ended with All my love, Kurt.
Kelly and Kurt
My parents.
My father passed away from a massive heart attack. It was quick.
Sudden.
The vision of him sleeping in the casket. It was the last time I saw him. We decided to have him buried in a black suit, and my mother placed a note in his pocket. I remembered the way she stared at him while our family and friends gave their condolences. It broke our hearts. The man she loved, loved with her whole heart, was gone.
He was simply gone.
When he gained his wings, my mother never was the same. She was sad all the time and spent a few months in the psych ward at the hospital. She woke up one morning, leaned over to kiss him, and realized he had passed in his sleep.
The love of her life took his last breath with her by his side.
The months after her release, there was a lift of life back in her. My pregnancy gave her life meaning. Dana, my older sister, was getting married. Leigh, my younger sister, was moving to Seattle from New York City. Her girls were together in Seattle, and things were looking up. She became whole once again.
As time went on, we decided I’d be the one to take in our mother between the three of us. It made the most sense. She was retired, and it would never be boring at my place. I found a fixer-upper with three bedrooms and two bathrooms. It was a cute ranch-style home I could call my own.
In the quiet of the sun rising, here I am, sitting in the silence, admiring the life I’m building. I’m proud of the woman I am today. I’m standing strong and holding down the fort.
Then, out of the blue, it happens.
In these silent moments, my heart goes back to a moment in my life where things were easy, and I didn’t have to question every thought or action.
Being in Seattle has its moments. I sit in the quiet, my mind going a thousand miles an hour, wondering we’ll ever cross paths. Meg gives me information about the man who let me go. After all these years, my heart still beats for him. I wish I could honestly forget his face or stupid smile or the way I felt in his arms.
Another round of shivers skates down my body, raising the goose bumps and making me tremble with need.
“More, please.”
His lips press against my shoulder. “I love that you want more. My dirty girl.”
This makes me blush. I’ve never taken my body to this level of need and sexual pleasure, but with Clayton, it’s easy. He boosts my confidence, and I never have to shy away from him.
Clayton smooths his hands down my sides until he grips my waist, all while keeping his eyes on me.
I arch into him, making sure I don’t take my eyes off him either.
“I love you want to give me more.” I blush again. “Sorry. I’m not good at talking dirty and being a sexual goddess.”
“That’s fine. I don’t want that. All I want is you, and all I want to do is give you every pleasure in the world. Will you let me do that for you?”
“Yes. Of course. I want all of that, and I want to give you all the pleasures of the world. You can have all of me, Clayton.”
“I love the sound of that.”
The memory of Clayton pushes me near the edge, but I pick myself back up and shake it away. All I’ll ever have are memories, and I’m okay with that.
I need to be okay with that.
I take a moment to reflect on