to say.
“Because of my text messages. You can’t take away my son. He’s my son. I carried him and gave birth to him. I’ve been there since day one.” She’s holding back her tears, and it’s gutting me inside.
“I don’t have a lawyer, Ashley. I’m not going to take him away from you. You’ve raised our son, and I want a chance to get to know him. Get to know you again.”
“Can we meet, please?”
“Of course.” I rattle off my address, and a time for her to come by tonight. “I can make dinner—”
She interrupts me. “No. No dinner. I’ll be there.”
Before I can say anything, the call disconnects, and I toss my cell on my desk. Rubbing my face with my hands, I rest my elbows on top of my thighs.
Fuck.
I knew this wasn’t going to be easy, and she would fight back, but lawyers? She thought I was going to take him away from her.
“I’ll never hurt you again, Ashley,” I whisper under my breath. “Never.”
Chapter 16
Ashley
I take a deep breath as I get out of my car and walk toward Clayton’s apartment. His door’s on the outside, so I don’t need to walk through the building. Before I can knock on the door, it swings open and facing me is Clayton.
Clayton Turner.
“Hi.” I nervously say. “I know I’m a little early.”
He smiles, opening the door wider to let me in. “No worries. Come in and sit down.” I do as he says and find a single cushion chair and sit. “Can I get you anything to drink?”
I shake my head. “No. I’m fine.” I watch him walk a few steps to the couch, and he sits down, turning his body so he can face me. “How are you?”
“Doing well. I hope you are too.”
“Managing. I guess. So, ah, I know you have questions.” He nods his head but doesn’t respond. “Alex. Our son’s name is Alexander, but obviously Alex for short. He turned five in March, and he’s going to start kindergarten when school starts back up.” I reach into my purse and pull out a photo album I made today and hand it to Clayton. “I made that for you. Alex helped.”
When Clayton’s fingers brush mine, the familiar electric shock comes back, bringing me to how I first felt when we met.
My eyes don’t leave his hand as it stills, gripping the album and touching my skin. The emotions I buried long ago begin to surface, catching me off guard and pushing me out of my comfort zone.
There was a time I was angry with the world. Angry with everyone in my life. When the numbness came, I held it close until I hit rock bottom. I was afraid of losing myself to myself. The pregnancy was getting harder, and at one point, I wanted to give up. The door to the clinic was a few feet away. The memory of that day etched itself in my mind. It was a reminder of my weakest moment. I vowed I never would go down that path, and once I let go of the anger and numbness, things got easier.
I didn’t need or want pity.
Gina was there for me and stayed by my side. I knew I had to take care of myself, so I took it upon myself to get the help I knew I needed. I went to support groups and read books to encourage the strength within. It helped. As cheesy as it sounded, it helped.
“Thank you for making this for me. I’ll look at it tonight.” I let go of the album, and my hand falls back to my lap. “I’m going to be blunt and not skirt around what’s going on.”
“Okay.”
“I want to meet Alex. I can’t leave this alone, and I won’t. I’ve missed out on my son’s life, and I want to change that. Can you tell me more about him?”
The way he says his name makes me sick.
“You left me. You left us. Clayton, you hurt me that day when I walked away. You told me to take care of the problem. I can’t allow you to hurt Alex the way you hurt me.” My voice is hoarse as if I’ve been singing at the top of my lungs for hours, screaming out the lyrics.
Clayton looks discouraged as he shoves his hands into his pockets, shifting his gaze from me to the ground. I don’t want to focus on him. The problem is I can’t help it. Even though it’s