but I can feel his stare.
“I developed anorexia and couldn’t produce breast milk. It was hard to accept how I looked, so I thought not eating would work.” I finish making my sandwich and shut the baggie. “I know I’m not fat. After I had Alex, things didn’t go back to how it looked, and I jiggle.”
The sound of the chair scraping against the kitchen floor rings, and I feel Clayton’s breath on my neck.
“I don’t ever want to hear you say that. I know you’re thinking your body changed, and you’re scared about how I’ll feel. You’re beautiful. This body is beautiful.” He pauses and traces his fingers from my shoulders down to my arm and maneuvers to my belly. “Your body carried our son, and you gave him life.”
“Oh.” I breathe, feeling shivers rush across my skin.
“The sooner you forgive me and want to give us a second chance, the sooner I can enjoy your body again.”
I feel the heat in my cheeks and moisture between my thighs at his closeness and words. Damn my body for falling for his words. The more I try to fight the attraction, the harder he makes it, and I don’t know how much fight I have left.
“You smell nice, baby.”
The heat in my cheeks raises. “Thank you.”
“One of these nights, I’m going to take you out for dinner, and then we’re going to come back here so I can hold you in my arms.”
“Clayton.” I sigh, knowing what he wants to do. “We can’t do that.”
Who am I kidding? I want so badly to be with him intimately. I can’t bring myself to that level yet.
“All I want to do is hold you in my arms. That’s it. I swear.”
When I turn to face him, we’re inches apart. The grip on my waist tightens, and his eyes are hooded as he stares at me.
“This isn’t easy. You know that, right?”
Hesitantly I nod in agreement.
“I know you want this to be slow. There’s only so much a man can handle.”
“This isn’t a walk in the park for me either. I’m trying to trust you. Let’s go back into the kitchen because us standing in my bedroom isn’t making things easy.”
“Okay.” He brushes the hair from my face. “And where on the scale are you at?”
“Well, you’re here with Alex so I’m pretty sure my trust in you is on the higher side of the scale.”
“I like that.”
We head back to the kitchen and Clayton stands before me while we’re standing in silence. Neither of us moves.
“What are you guys doing?” A sleepy Alex walks into the kitchen and looks at both of us. “I need water.”
Clayton moves away slowly and turns to Alex. “Nothing, buddy. I’m helping Mom pack her lunch.”
“Oh. Cool.”
Satisfied with the answer, Clayton hands him some water, and he drinks it. Again, he looks at us, then he turns around and walks out of the kitchen. I let out the breath I’ve been holding, and soon, a laugh follows.
“What’s funny?”
“You lied to our son, and we’re acting like teenagers.” I lean against the counter and toss an apple between my hands. “Thanks for staying with him tonight. I appreciate it.”
“No problem. I’m not complaining, but where’s your mom?”
“She’s with Leigh. Going to spend time with her. Her boyfriend broke up with her and moved out so she’s feeling down. My mom thought it would be a good idea to spend a few nights with her.”
“Ah. Gotcha. So, overnight tonight? You going to be okay?”
I smile at his concern. “I’ll be fine. I’m used to working, and I don’t mind. I’ll get to see Marcy.”
“Who is that?”
“Marcy is Gina’s niece. She’s in the NICU and has been fighting for her life, but things are starting to look up, so it’s good. When I get the chance, I head down and see her and let Gina know how she’s doing, or I explain to Grant what’s going on.”
Clayton frowns. “Damn. Give Gina my best. I hope I’ll get to see her again. The last time we saw each other, she wanted to kill me. I don’t want that again. I miss her.”
When we were dating, Clayton and Gina became close so when we broke up, they broke up as friends.
“Yeah, I think so. She might want to punch you a few times, but I think it’ll be okay.”
“Alright.” He laughs. “Sounds like a plan. Anything you want me to do with Alex tonight?”
I grab the list from the counter and hand