coffee in the kitchen, Jas comes in. ‘You okay? You seemed a bit pissed off before.’
I nod. ‘Yeah I’m fine. I know you probably think Alex is a bit much… and he is. But it’s just that he wants to do stuff for me, and he’s only being kind, but the way you were making fun of him – I felt attacked.’
‘Well, perhaps next time just meet him somewhere else for lunch and you won’t feel that way – okay?’
I know she doesn’t like people in the office, for good and professional reasons, but the mean way she delivers this, no smile, just a glint of something in her eyes, makes me wonder – is Alex right, is she jealous?
I don’t even get a chance to respond, as Sameera pops her head round the door to ask Jas’s advice about a client, and she leaves the kitchen.
I feel stung, and Jas has never made me feel like that before, even when she’s had to say something difficult to me regarding work. I can’t understand why she’d be so against Alex, and against my relationship, and it makes me sad because I should be able to share with my best friend the fun of being in love.
And it is love, not just infatuation or lust, and it’s clear Alex feels the same. Even when things haven’t been straightforward, I feel like he’s magically restored my faith in men and love. I had begun to think there was no one for me, that all men were out for themselves, afraid of the commitment they were unable to give. In fact, I’d been starting to speak from the same script as Jas, which I now realise is negative and pointless. I’m realising a lot of things about Jas – there’s no rational reason why she should have taken against Alex like she has. She hadn’t even met him and she was telling me to ‘be careful’ and putting her spin on everything I told her about him. It makes me wonder if Alex wasn’t too far from the mark when he said she was obsessed.
I’m hard at it all afternoon, but when the others start moving from their desks at 5.30 to go to the wine bar, I still have another hour’s work to do, so promise to join them later. To be honest, I’m glad to finally be alone; it’s seemed like they’ve been judging me recently, and today was the worst. I feel myself flush when I think about the way Jas made fun of Alex bringing the picnic – and the other two laughing along.
When I arrive at the wine bar, they greet me like a long-lost friend. I feel welcomed, warm and forget the earlier sense of exclusion. I feel lucky to have them in my life. After a few drinks and the meal, Jas too seems a little softer and we sit together in a little huddle.
‘Sorry about before, babe,’ she says, touching my arm.
‘Oh, it’s okay,’ I say. ‘I just felt a bit hurt and—’
‘Yeah, yeah, I was a bit sharp, but you know I love you, don’t you?’
‘I do.’ I smile. ‘I can see why you were pissed off, but I didn’t ask him to come to the office, he just turned up.’
‘I know, I just feel like he’s a bit fake… He was looking at me like he’d won some victory over me, do you know what I mean?’
‘No, I don’t,’ I admit. ‘So let’s not talk about it, I don’t want you and me to fall out,’ I say firmly.
‘Yeah, absolutely. No man will come between me and my sister, am I right?’
We continue to chat, and neither of us refer to Alex or his picnic, we just laugh about funny stuff, times we got so drunk we couldn’t stand up, the time we swapped phones and texted men the other one fancied – mature, sophisticated stuff like that. But it’s fun, and I’m reminded why we’re such good friends: we make each other laugh, and have each other’s back.
The evening continues. Jas, as usual, sees a guy who she thinks is cute. He’s standing at the bar with his friends and by 10 p.m. she’s demanding I go over and talk to them with her.
‘I don’t want to,’ I say. ‘Take Sameera.’
‘Oh, she won’t come and chat up men with me – she’s getting married in January, she’s no fun.’
‘Go to the bar and send him over a drink, that way the barman