the door, making this sniffing sound I was sure would wake her up, and it was a matter of time before he’d start barking and drop me in it. I should be clear, I meant her no harm and was only doing this to check on her, make sure she was okay – and I locked the outer door on my way out, so she’d be safe from passing weirdos.
After a long time loving her from afar, I knew my feelings were reciprocated when she bought me a big carton of Smarties shaped like Father Christmas. ‘I know how you love them Harry,’ she’d said, which I knew was her way of telling me she loved me. I was over the bloody moon. It was around the time she started seeing him, and I reckon it was her way of saying she was sorry, that I was the one she wanted, but I was with Gemma by then so she assumed I was taken. But that didn’t stop her flirting, she even said to me once, ‘What would I do without you, Harry?’ She was such a tease, with her long blonde hair and that secret smile she sometimes gave me across the office.
I finished with Gemma weeks ago, but no one noticed. I only went out with her in the first place because Hannah was living with Tom and I wanted to make her jealous. I ended up stuck with Gemma for almost a year, the only plus point was that she lived near Hannah, so it wasn’t far for me to go and check on her.
I let Gemma hang on during Hannah’s Tom period, planning to end it and turn to Hannah for a shoulder to cry on. No way was I going steaming in with Hannah, she was too special, so I was going to make it so that Gemma dumped me and Hannah, who’s the kindest person I know, wouldn’t be able to resist my sad, puppy-dog eyes. But while I was planning all this and being mean to Gemma so she’d dump me, Hannah went on some app and met the idiot Alex. I was so pissed off.
I’d really worked on her, let her tell me all her problems with Tom, bought her almond croissants every day, even fed her bloody cat until it died. And no, I didn’t kill it, I don’t do clichés. Besides, it was useful feeding old Tiddles, because it gave me access to her inner sanctum, and the chance to look through her stuff, get really close to her. Sometimes, I’d take something of hers, nothing big or important that she’d notice, just little things, like a hair bobble, a lipstick. Anyway, after all that, she starts shagging some dickhead she picked up online. Unbelievable!
Alex. God, I hated him. Rich and posh and stupid – mind you, I heard he wasn’t that rich after all – like I said, Hannah can be easily manipulated, she’s a bit naïve, but that’s part of her charm for me. I want to protect her, keep her safe, but I felt I’d let her down when she met him. I loathed everything about him, even before I met him. It was ‘Alex says this and Alex thinks that’ and I’ll admit I was jealous. I used to lie in bed at night thinking up ways to torture him. But I kept telling myself I had to play the long game, and if I waited long enough, I could fix it. Patience was the key.
When she first started seeing him, she’d come into the office all flushed and girly, just crushing on him until I had to go to the bathroom and literally vomit. I couldn’t stand by and watch this car crash, I had to get involved, even if it was petty - it was the only way to stay bloody sane! She’d put a romantic meal for two in the fridge at work, and the idea of the two of them eating this and probably having sex afterwards just ate away at me. So I tore off the lid and poured sour milk in the beef whatever-it-was, and then, when no one was about, I stood on the box of cheesecake slices. I ground my boots into the box until they were paste – then put them back in the fridge under a big carton of orange juice. I can’t tell you how much pleasure that gave me.
She always left her car keys