I can feel myself becoming defensive. ‘So what do you think the reason might be for him saying, “she goes out early, come over about eight, so the coast’s clear”?’
‘I don’t know. I don’t know what to think, but I don’t want to jump to the wrong conclusion. I don’t want to ruin something good, Jas.’
She raises her eyebrows and clicks her tongue. ‘Sounds to me like he might have done that already,’ she says, slowly shaking her head. ‘I wonder if the wife is a permanent fixture, and all this talk of divorce is just that… talk?’
‘No. No,’ I say. I hadn’t thought of it like that.
‘You sure you’re not the other woman, Hannah?’
After that conversation, I go back to my desk and feel even more paranoid. Has Alex been seeing Helen all along? I consider going straight over to his house and having it out with him. But if I’m right, there’s a chance I’ll walk in on them, and I couldn’t bear that. I have to protect myself. I’ll stick with plan A, and deal with this on Friday when I go to Alex’s after work as we planned.
My phone pings, announcing a text from Alex. It makes me jump, which amuses Harry.
‘You’re a bit jittery today, Hannah,’ he laughs.
‘Just got a lot on my plate.’ I then add quickly, ‘Workwise.’ I don’t want everyone knowing every single part of my personal business, it’s a small office and we already know too much about each other’s lives.
I check my phone.
Hey gorgeous, have a great evening tonight. And don’t forget, if you change your mind about driving, I’m free to play chauffeur. I’m home all evening. Xxx
This text gives me a glimmer of hope. Why would he offer to collect me if Helen or anyone else is staying over? It doesn’t make sense.
‘I might go to Alex’s place after we’ve been out tonight,’ I say to Jas a little later. I can’t bear the not knowing, the constant tumble dryer of possibilities whizzing around my head.
‘What? Why? Just go back to your place. Better still, come back to mine. Then you can leave your car here and—’
‘No, no. It’s stupid to think I can just ignore this. I’ll drop you off after we’ve been out and go straight to his house. I’d rather deal with whatever’s going on than torture myself about it. The irony is I wanted to take time at home to do some work, but I can’t even think straight.’
‘I thought you were taking time away to come out with me?’ She looks a little hurt.
‘Yeah, of course. That too,’ I say.
‘You guys okay?’ Sameera asks, as I leave Jas’s office.
‘Yeah, you two seem to have lots of girlie secrets today,’ Harry teases.
‘Oh it’s nothing, I wouldn’t begin to bore you with it.’ I sigh. Jas means well, but I think Alex might be right, I think she does want to spend more time with me, and it’s affecting her assessment of the situation. She just wants to push the idea that Alex is up to no good – then again, all the evidence is pointing to that.
This is the problem with meeting someone online, however much you think you know, you don’t – you don’t know their history, their lives, their friends. When we met, Alex presented me with a picture of his past and present, but he left out what he felt didn’t fit, like his marriage. And hearing him on the telephone last night makes me wonder what else he’s left out of the perfect picture?
Chapter Thirty-Two
By 4.30, I’ve managed to do everything I need to do, except I still can’t get hold of Chloe Thomson; her mother’s not answering her phone either. I don’t want to leave it any longer, I saw her a couple of days ago and she wasn’t good. I reckon she’s still using, even though she denied it, she’s emotionally vulnerable and will need support to get off the drugs. I still don’t know who she’s seeing, but if it is her mother’s boyfriend, it all makes sense. Chloe’s refusing to talk to me about it and I think that’s because he’s threatening her. I’m not sure what worries me the most: the drugs, the self-harm or the fact Chloe’s embroiled in some kind of relationship with an older, abusive man.
As I can’t get hold of her, or anyone connected to her, I start calling everyone else, from the police, to children’s agencies, to the homeless hostels.