a perfectly reasonable question.’
I suddenly spot the carrier bag on the floor by my feet. ‘Ooh I have something,’ I say, and take out the bottle of wine. I stretch to place it on the kitchen island, but I clumsily catch my glass with the bottle and knock it over. Glass and red wine go everywhere. I am mortified.
I hear him say, ‘Shit!’ under his breath, and want to die.
‘I’m so sorry.’ I grab at a rather lovely blue tea towel, which looks too nice to mop up spillage, but I give it a go, manically wiping and attempting to pick up shards of glass from the worktop.
‘Stop, stop – it’s fine,’ he says gently, walking towards the carnage with a dustpan and brush. ‘Just move over there and let me take care of it.’ He touches my arm and gently manoeuvres me to the side.
I really don’t know what to say. I wish he’d make a joke, but he doesn’t, and the picking and wiping goes on for some time in silence, as I stand by. He carefully brushes the floor, then picks up each remaining tiny shard between his finger and thumb, before wiping the counter and giving the floor a final wipe. Eventually, when he’s eradicated every sparkle of glass and every speck of red wine, he looks up and smiles. ‘There you go.’ He moves to the sink to wash his hands. I stand there helpless, like a child.
‘Sorry, I’m not usually like this. I bet the glass was expensive, I’ll buy you another one, just let me know where…’
His back is to me at the sink, and he puts his hand up in an ‘it doesn’t matter’ gesture.
‘I’m so sorry,’ I repeat.
He turns around. ‘Hannah, please don’t keep saying you’re sorry, it’s a glass – that’s all.’
I pull a pained face. ‘But it was a beautiful glass; it must have been expensive.’
Alex shrugs and taking another lovely tea towel from the side, wipes his hands, and reaches for the bottle of wine I brought, that I’ve just caused all the damage with.
‘Nice,’ he murmurs.
‘Yeah. I know you like Merlot – well, we both do.’
He holds it for a while and reads the label while I stand nearby wondering what to do with myself. I find myself wondering if it’s really worth it. Is any relationship worth all the uncertainty, the foolishness at the beginning, the does-he, doesn’t-he, shall I, shan’t I? The am I good enough?
‘I can’t lie – I’m a bit nervous,’ I hear myself say into the silence.
‘I know, me too. The first few dates are always a bit nerve-wracking. But – I – this—’ He pauses and gestures from himself to me and back. ‘This feels right.’
I feel a sweep of relief: he likes me, and I like him, and we just have to get over these initially awkward first dates and I’m sure something good will start to happen.
He suddenly reaches down past my legs and picks up the carrier bag that held the wine, then realises there’s something inside. ‘Sorry, I thought it was empty, I was about to throw that away.’
He hands it to me. I take it off him and put the bag down on a nearby chair. ‘It’s just some sweets for someone I work with.’
‘Oh – is it her birthday?’ He wanders over to the oven and checks through the glass.
‘No, no it’s a thank you – for my friend Harry.’
‘Oh yeah you mentioned him before.’ He doesn’t turn around.
‘Yeah, his girlfriend, she works at the café near my office. Have you heard of Brilliant Bakes?’
‘Yeah, I think I know it.’ Alex walks back to where I’m standing against the kitchen island and leans next to me, both holding our glasses now, like we’re drinking at a bar.
‘Well, Harry brings me the leftover almond croissants from the café – they’re my favourite – bit of a standing joke really. I picked him up a carton of Smarties because he won’t take any money off me,’ I add.
‘That’s kind of you,’ he says, and I feel his hand on mine, slowly caressing each finger one by one. I like it.
‘Harry loves Smarties…’ My voice fades, I’m longing for him to kiss me.
Alex’s face is now close to mine, his breath hot on my lips. We’re about to kiss when he moves back slightly. ‘Be careful, Hannah. If a beautiful woman bought me sweets, I might think I stood a chance.’ He leaves me to go back to