interior light, he’s visibly upset. ‘Hannah, I can’t believe you were with that guy. You should have heard the stuff he said, the creepy way he talks – the things, the terrible things he was planning to do to you in that cottage.’
My stomach plummets. I’m not wholly surprised, but it’s still not easy to hear. I look behind again to see where Alex is; he may still be planning those terrible things.
‘Let’s go,’ I say. ‘He might try and ram us off the road if he feels he’s got nothing to lose now.’
‘No, he won’t, I promise you. I’ve had a serious talk to him, I think I made him see sense. From what he said, he’s more likely to take his own life.’ He sighs.
‘Oh no.’ I start to cry, even after everything I don’t want something terrible to happen to Alex. I won’t be in his life, but I don’t want him to die.
‘Hey, hey, I’m sure he’ll be fine. It’s you I’m worried about,’ Harry says.
‘I just… I don’t know… I can’t imagine what might have happened if Jas hadn’t called you.’
He nods. ‘Yeah, yeah. Hey, don’t cry,’ he says gently, and wipes away my tears with the cuff of his jumper. ‘I called the police, they’re on their way. We have to wait for them here, you warm enough?’ he asks, and I nod, but still he takes off his coat and puts it round me.
‘Thank you, I owe you and Jas such a lot.’
‘A lot of alcohol.’
I smile and grab his hand, I just need to feel the warmth of another person. ‘I didn’t know him – I thought I did, we were talking about marriage. But he’s a stranger to me.’
‘Well, you dodged a bullet there, mate.’ He smiles, and starts the car to keep us warm. ‘I’ve explained as much as I can to the police on the phone, but when they get here, they’ll want to talk to you.’
‘Yes, of course. Do you think Alex will make a run for it?’ I ask.
‘Nah, he’s broken.’ Harry sighed. ‘He knows what he has to do. I left him sitting by the side of the road, he knows the police are coming, I reckon he’ll go quietly.’
A few minutes later, we hear sirens and flashing lights.
‘It’s all over, Hannah.’ Harry smiles. ‘The police can deal with him now. And after we’ve talked to the police, I’ll get you home.’
‘I feel such a fool, Harry.’
‘Don’t,’ he says. ‘You just fell in love with the wrong guy – let’s hope next time it’ll be the right one.’
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Alex meant what he’d said about not being able to live without me, and today I said goodbye to him for the last time. I’m still finding it hard to come to terms with what happened, but it seems that on realising it was over, on that cold, snowy night, just days before Christmas, he took his own life.
Harry and I waited, parked on the road, until the police arrived, assuming Alex would still be further down the road where Harry left him. But when they got there, the police couldn’t find him, and said he must have made a run for it. Until the next day, when a body was recovered by a lifeboat crew at the bottom of Salcombe Cliffs. Harry said he just knew the way he was talking that he’d come to the end, but although I knew he was desperate, the shock of hearing Alex had taken his own life still left me feeling sad and guilty. I never realised just how troubled or tormented he was. I thought I loved him, but I didn’t really know him. I just wish I could have helped him.
It’s been so difficult and sad trying to sort out Alex’s life in death. Each day I learn something else about him, proving how little I really knew him. Sadly, it seems that I’m the closest person to him, as he would have been the closest to me. We were little more than children without roots, both searching for a family and a home, and believing we’d found that in each other.
I found details for his sister, Lara, and invited her and anyone else from his family to come along to the funeral. Lara wrote back to me saying he’d been deeply affected by the death of their mother and had always struggled emotionally. She said her father was too ill to attend the funeral, and she couldn’t