shocked by a sudden temper, a stinging slap, an unkind remark. Even if they never slapped or flared up at you again, the threat would hang in the air like a dark cloud, and you carry it with you into adulthood. To receive those beautiful roses, and discover a horrible message tucked inside, was like the stinging slap of childhood, the nasty remark when you least expect it. Just when everything seems to be going so well, there it is, the ever-present threat of losing everything.
I decide not to tell Alex about the roses. It’s too early and the evening’s been too good to spoil everything with the idea I have a vengeful ex lurking around the corner. So I stay on safe ground and talk about my job.
‘My day was busy, and frustrating. The teenagers I deal with can be difficult to communicate with, especially the abused, neglected kids – and it isn’t always easy to help them.’
He nods, listening intently to what I’m saying.
‘I often wonder how long I can keep going, and just when I’m about to give up there’s a breakthrough and something good happens,’ I say. ‘I finally rescue a child from an abusive family, a teenager moves out of care into their own flat and with a job, and then – and only then – do I feel like it’s been worth all the sleepless nights. Harry always says you watch them like a parent watching their one-year-old take their first steps.’
‘Harry certainly has a way with words,’ he says. There’s an edge in his voice, is he a little jealous of Harry? If so, that’s hilarious because as soon as he meets Harry, Alex will realise he’s the least threatening, least troubling person for him to worry about.
‘The hardest lesson I’ve had to learn is that some people just don’t want to be saved,’ I say, returning to the subject matter.
‘Yeah. And that hurts.’ He sighs. ‘People take things the wrong way, they think you’re too much, when all you want to do is make things right. I mean, all you’re doing is asking them to behave a certain way – you’re only doing it for them, but they can’t see that.’
‘You mean with clients?’ I ask, unsure of what he’s actually saying.
‘Yeah… Perhaps sometimes I give too much and, yes, I probably ask too much too. But it’s for them – always for them.’
I feel his passion, his caring, and relate to it. But I’m not completely sure he’s talking about his work.
‘I give a lot – but I expect a lot,’ he adds.
‘Nothing wrong with that.’
‘Mmm, but it often leads to disappointment on my part.’
Again I wonder if he’s talking about the people he defends, or something closer to home. Has Alex also been disappointed by love? Has he had his heart broken?
‘How long have you been single?’ I ask.
‘About twelve months now.’
‘A year is a long time for someone like you to be single,’ I say flirtatiously as I take a sip of wine. He’s such a catch, I can’t believe he hasn’t been snapped up. I glance through the door at the high-gloss kitchen. ‘Some women would date you for that kitchen alone,’ I murmur, only half-joking.
He smiles. ‘Oh no, you only want me for my white goods and worktops?’
I nod. ‘Damn, am I that obvious? You give good kitchen, Alex.’ I pretend to sigh longingly, and he laughs.
‘That’s a compliment – I think. Perhaps that’s where I’ve been going wrong with my past relationships. I should have seduced them with my kitchen first.’ He’s shaking his head theatrically.
‘Yeah, might be. Or, like me, you just picked the wrong ones,’ I say, opening up the conversation slightly.
He shrugs and I wonder what the story is with his last ex. But I don’t get the chance to find out because he quickly moves away from what seems to be a danger area.
‘Dinner won’t be too long. I’m making this Middle Eastern recipe a colleague recommended,’ he says brightly. ‘It’s delicious, I’ve made it before – but it takes a little longer than I’d like.’
‘It smells wonderful,’ I say, and because I’m used to having difficult conversations with clients, I push for more information about his ex. ‘So, you’ve been single for a whole year?’ I take a discreet glance at the wall full of photos, hoping to alight on a photo of the one that got away.
Alex puts his head down. He nods, slowly. ‘Yeah.’
‘Is she… over there on the