Dayton yelled.
“I can see that,” I said, hoping I sounded as genuinely uninterested as I felt. I was still in a shit mood, and partying sounded fucking awful.
“Party tonight,” Colin said as he walked toward me, a brown-colored shot in his hand. “Gotta welcome the new guys! And break Matt in,” he added with a laugh as he handed me the shot glass.
“Some things never change,” I practically groaned but took the shot anyway. It burned as it passed down my throat and into my stomach. “What the hell was that?”
“Tequila!” the three of them shouted in unison.
Tequila was always a bad idea, especially if it was cheap.
I frowned, and Colin’s expression shifted.
“What’s up?” he asked. “You don’t seem excited.”
“I’m not.”
“You, Mac Davies, king of all women on this campus, are not happy about a party at our house for our senior fucking year?” Colin reached out, touching the back of his hand to my forehead. “You okay, man? Got a fever?”
I slapped his hand away, wanting it off me. “I’m just tired,” I lied.
“Well, get untired, bro. Females will be here in an hour,” Dayton shouted with a grin, seemingly pleased with himself. Or drunk already. Most likely, it was the latter.
I watched as Matt braced himself on the counter. “Hey. It’s nice to meet you. But I need to slow down, or I’ll be passed the fuck out in an hour.”
That made me laugh even though I wasn’t in the mood. “Nice to meet you too. Don’t pass out. You’ll regret it. Our parties are legendary,” I said, deciding that maybe getting lost in some attention from the female variety was just what I needed to forget about how shitty my life was.
Sunny’s image flashed in my mind before I forced it away with a shake of my head. She wouldn’t show up alone tonight, would she? Chance had told me that Sunny was living by herself this year. And Danika had actually asked me to keep an eye out for her before telling me something about how she had an intense fear of being alone, but I never agreed to do it. At least, I didn’t think I’d agreed to do it.
I wasn’t sure I could even face Sunny, let alone watch out for the girl without wanting to spill all of my darkness into her light. She brought me comfort in a way that no one ever had before. Not even my own mother could get me to open up and tell her things the way I had with Sunny that night.
And I’d been such an asshole to her after. She should have hated me, but Chance had told me that she asked about me over the summer, so I knew that she didn’t. I owed her a thousand apologies, but I wasn’t sure I could give her even one of them.
Everything about me was fucking toxic. I came from a fucked up family that was only getting worse. I had no control over my own life, no baseball prospects in sight, and no scouts even interested in me, as far as I knew. The last thing I wanted to do was drag Sunny down to my level. She deserved to be in a place filled with goodness and hope, and I didn’t live there.
How could I give her any part of me when I currently hated all of it myself?
Why the hell would she even want me?
She wouldn’t.
And that was why I planned on staying inside my bedroom all night and not coming out for anything or anyone, no matter what. It would be easier that way.
Party of One
Sunny
S
ince my texts with Danika, I’d been debating on whether or not I should go to the baseball party tonight, and I was still no closer to an answer. On one hand, I wanted to go because … Mac. But on the other hand, I was nervous because … well, Mac.
My phone rang, distracting me from my inner dialogue that was getting me nowhere.
“Hey, Mom. What’s up?”
“Just checking in,” she said, and I knew she wanted to make sure that I was okay before the semester started. “How are you doing?”
“I’m fine.” I tried to reassure her, but she knew how nervous I’d been about living alone.
She’d called every day the first week I moved in, but her calls had grown a little more infrequent lately. It was a good thing. I needed to be able to survive on my own without my mommy checking up on