little defensively. I hated this topic because I was no closer to an answer at the end of my college career as I’d been at the beginning of it.
“Because you seem like the type of girl who has it all together. I just assumed you knew what you wanted and were halfway there already,” he explained, and while I appreciated his view, it couldn’t have been more inaccurate.
“I feel like I’m the only person who has no idea what she wants to do with her life. And I hate it.” I spilled my truth onto the floor between us as my eyes started to water. This topic always made me emotional, and I did my best to pull it together. I felt like an idiot for not knowing, not even having an inkling of an idea as to what I wanted to spend my life doing.
“You’re definitely not the only one.”
“Well, you know exactly what you want to do.”
“Yeah, but it’s not the same.”
“How is it not the same?”
“Because what I want is a long shot. What happens if I don’t get drafted? Don’t get to play baseball for the rest of my life? Then what?”
My heart cracked with his words. I knew how much baseball owned him and how badly he wanted a future in it.
“Don’t say that.” I tried to sound reassuring, but I had no idea what it took to make that dream a reality. I knew bits and pieces from living with Danika and hearing Chance talk about it last year, but I’d never been completely invested.
“I’m not trying to be negative. I’m being realistic. There’s a good chance I won’t get drafted. Then what? Outside of playing baseball, I have no idea what I want to do.”
He sounded so sad. Like the very idea of baseball not being in his life took a part of his soul away and left him empty.
“At least you have a goal. Something you’re working toward.”
He nodded slowly. “Okay, I’ll give you that. What are you majoring in?”
Mac wanted to steer the conversation away from him and back toward me. I hated it because I wanted to hear more about him and less about me and this particular topic.
“I was undecided when I got here, and then when they forced me to pick a major, I still had no idea what I was interested in. So, I just picked communications.”
Mac laughed, and I shot him a look that could kill.
“I’m not laughing at you,” he said, holding one hand in the air. “You’re just so adorably honest. Have you noticed that no one ever talks about or admits this kind of shit?”
“Yes!” I practically shouted my response. “Why do you think I feel so alone and avoid this topic if I can? And social media doesn’t help. I always feel less than. Like I’m so far behind all of my peers, it’s not even funny. Everyone looks like they have it all together and knows exactly what they want and how to get there, and I’m sitting here, floundering, without a clue of what even interests me.”
He angled his body toward me, his knee brushing against mine, and I tried like hell to concentrate on anything other than the fact that his bare skin was touching my own. But when his hand reached out and intertwined with mine, I was a lost cause. I melted right then and there, and he damn well knew it.
“Mac,” I breathed out, but it was too late.
His lips were on mine, his mouth opening and his tongue finding its way inside. We’d kissed before, but this was different. Last time, it had been all fun. This time, it felt like it meant something.
He kissed me with precision, his movements slow and sensual. I felt like I was dying and being brought back to life each time his tongue touched mine or he moved his mouth in a different position, claiming my lips once more.
Kissing this version of Mac was like a dream, and I never wanted it to end.
Breaking All My Rules
Mac
K
issing Sunny was like kissing a fucking goddess. Every single thing I did with her, I did with care. There was no rushing the moment. No slobbering tongues or teeth clashing against each other in a frenzy of mouths opening and closing too quickly. No. Every movement was intentional. Every swipe of the tongue and bite of the lip elicited more emotion than I’d ever experienced before.
And Sunny kissed me like she meant