dinner together and took our time, eating and hanging out. It was so much nicer than I’d anticipated; I was always a little unsure of how Mac felt when it came to his parents.
True to her word, his mom didn’t drink. And when we dropped her off at the hotel that night, Mac walked her into the lobby and talked with her for a few minutes before giving her a hug. She waved at me before she disappeared.
Mac opened the car door and hopped in, his eyes red.
“What happened? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” he breathed out. “She apologized for everything. And wishes she could take it all back and do it different but knows that she can’t.”
“That was nice of her to say,” I said as we pulled out of the parking lot.
“Yeah. I mean, now that she’s not drinking, she said she sees it a little too clearly. And she’s having a hard time not hating herself for it all.”
I imagined what that must have felt like. To have numbed your pain with something for so long, only to have it all come crashing back in high-definition once the haze lifted.
“What’d you say?”
“I told her that I didn’t hate her. That I wasn’t angry with her anymore and that if I could forgive her, then she needed to forgive herself too,” he stumbled on the last words, and I knew that he was getting choked up.
I reached across the seat for his hand and squeezed. “That was very mature of you.”
“I thought so too.” He smirked as he brought our linked hands to his lips and pressed a kiss there.
“Oh, I keep forgetting to tell you!” I practically shouted. “Rocky texted. She said to tell you she’s watching your games online, so don’t screw up.” I laughed. “And that she misses us. Mostly my cookies.”
“Man, that girl.” He shook his head. “She’s something else. Is she getting better?”
“She said she was going to therapy and it seems to be helping.”
“That’s good. I was worried about her for a minute there,” he admitted. We both had been.
“I know. But she’s tough.”
“She’s fucking inspiring,” he added. “Anytime I want to give up, I channel my inner Rocky,” he said, sounding all badass and tough. “Don’t tell her I said that though. She’d never let me live it down.”
*
Mac had finally taken Coach Carter up on his offer and called his brother, Dean, the sports agent. Dean Carter was patient and answered all of Mac’s questions, but in the end, he said the whole draft process was a fluid beast that moved quickly and adjustments were often made on the fly and at the last minute. Basically, he said that nothing was guaranteed, and the call hadn’t done anything to help ease Mac’s state of mind for the upcoming draft. We still felt completely in the dark.
And as the season started wrapping up, I learned that hitting only one home run wasn’t necessarily what the scouts and the Major League teams were looking for. They wanted ‘power hitters,’ even if that meant that they struck out more than they didn’t. Because when they did get hits, they made them count and scored a bunch of runs. I thought that was some stupid, illogical crap, but what the heck did I know?
Apparently, having some of the best stats at Fullton State didn’t always mean anything more than you might get your name on a plaque and break some school records.
Baseball was weird.
And I was starting to resent it.
The day the draft started, Mac and I sat alone on the couch of my apartment with the television on and his cell phone at his side. I’d never seen him more uneasy than he was during this time. He didn’t want anyone else to share this moment, too on edge to have witnesses to whatever his future ended up being. We both had no idea what would happen, and neither did anyone else, it seemed.
A bunch of Mac’s teammates were at the baseball house, but he couldn’t stomach the thought of being around them if his name wasn’t called.
“I wouldn’t be able to take the looks on their faces. The way they’d feel sorry for me but thankful that it wasn’t them at the same time.” He pushed up from the couch and wrapped an arm around his stomach.
I knew how sick this was making him.
The not knowing.
The waiting.
The silence.
It was all out of his hands now, and that was both terrifying and a relief. He’d