of the table as I stalked toward her, my steps brisk. Rounding the kitchen corner, I pushed my body against hers, one arm snaking around her waist, the other firmly behind her head. She stepped back, and I let her until we hit the wall I had been aiming for, so we couldn’t move any further.
Looking down at her petite frame, I wondered how my body felt to her. “Do you feel that? What you do to me?”
She swallowed hard, her lips parting as her eyes stared at my mouth. “I feel it,” she tried to say, but the words came out in a seductive whisper.
“I want to be the best thing you’ve ever put in your mouth,” I said before taking her lips and plunging my tongue inside.
She tasted sweet, like sugar and chocolate, and I couldn’t get enough of her. My hand fisted her hair, pulling at the long silver strands and wrapping them in my fingers. Her hair was so soft. Her mouth warm. I wanted to dive into this girl and never come up for air again.
“Mac,” Sunny breathed out, her hands wrapped around the back of my neck, pulling me harder as her hips started grinding in small circles against me.
Jesus. This girl was going to kill me if she didn’t stop moving like that. Or I was going to explode in my pants and embarrass the hell out of myself à la American Pie.
I stepped away from her hot little body, my hands gripping her arms so she couldn’t move with me. I used all of my strength to keep her at a distance. “Sunny.” Her name was a plea as she stared at me, her pink lips swollen and more than lust in her eyes.
“Yes?”
“We need to stop.”
Disappointment flashed in her eyes before she put on a brave face. “Oh. Okay. Yeah, you’re probably right,” she agreed even though I knew that she wanted me just as badly as I wanted her.
“It’s not you. It’s just …” I flinched, feeling insecure, vulnerable, and downright terrified.
She wiggled out of my grip, the spell between us officially broken as hurt coursed through her. She wore her feelings on her face, and I was gifted at interpretation.
“You don’t have to explain.” Her words sliced right through me.
“But I want to try.” Closing my eyes, I blew out a breath before opening them back up and staring at the ceiling for a second. “Can we sit?”
Nodding, she moved wordlessly to the couch and sat down. Tossing my cell phone onto the coffee table in front of us, I sat close enough that our legs touched but kept the rest of my body parts to myself … for now. I wasn’t sure exactly where to start, but Sunny deserved an explanation. One second, I’d wanted to shove my dick in her mouth and die from pleasure, and then the next, I had pushed her away, telling her I couldn’t.
“I know you have a lot going on in that head of yours,” she said with a small smile. “But it’s late, and we can do this some other time.”
She was giving me an out. I knew that I could take it, but things would never be the same. Eventually, I’d end up telling Sunny all of this anyway, but who knew when? I hated feeling like such a colossal screwup.
Why do I have to have so many complex feelings and emotions? Why can’t I just fuck my way through college like everyone thought I was doing anyway? The consummate player. The only one to rival Fullton State legend Jack fucking Carter—aka Chance Carter’s dad and my baseball coach.
I fought back a laugh. If they only knew. Apparently, Coach Carter’s reputation had been based on actual events, whereas mine were all rumors and hearsay. No one knew the truth about me, but everyone acted like they did.
“Mac,” Sunny said my name, drawing my eyes to her lips, “we can just watch a movie or something.”
Sunny would let me put this away and bottle it up if that was what I chose to do. And, man, that decision could be so easy to make. It was what I’d done my whole life—shoved things down until they suffocated me. I’d learned from the best. When my mom had started feeling depressed, she never talked about it, even when I begged her to. She kept everything locked up tight in a vault she sealed with vodka and long afternoon naps. When she was