woman on her feet.
“We’d better get started.” Tina fans herself dramatically before heading out the door. When she returns she unfolds the portable beauty chair she’s brought inside. I’m told to get into the luxuriously soft complimentary dressing gown and slippers that have been provided by the venue. Tina helps me onto the beauty chair and I lay back and relax.
“Hello cousin!”
Nicola has arrived.
She glides her skinny brown haired self into the room already snapping. Snapping shots off on her digital camera, of course.
Bloody hell. I’d forgotten about my cousin doing the wedding photography. It’s no surprise I hadn’t remembered really. During the kerfuffle of last night’s disastrous cancellation calls, I never realised that Nicola was the only one who hadn’t phoned me.
I should do right by her. She’s the only person in this room who didn’t fail me yesterday. I should tell her about her paramedic boyfriend’s other job as a stripper.
Sighing, I lay my head back down onto the beauty chair headrest.
I’m simply in no mood for relationship altering revelations right now. It’s not my place to go blabbing anyway. If Ben hasn’t said anything to Nicola yet, that’s his problem. Although, if he hasn’t told my cousin by the time I’m back from honeymoon then that clothes flinging man and I will definitely be having words.
Nicola tells me she wants to get some candid behind-the-scenes shots before the actual wedding ceremony. When she says it like that I’m reminded of the fact that it’s actually going to be happening soon. I’m going to walk down that aisle on the arm of my best friend and I’m going to be delivered into the arms of the man who will be my husband.
I’m so bloody excited to see Callum in his wedding suit now I might actually wee myself.
“Now just relax, this will ease the swelling.” Tina’s voice soothes me and I feel her place cold, wet pads over my poor swollen eyes. She starts to do a facial while Stacy works on repairing the mess that used to be my fingernails.
“You’ll never guess who got a boob job on the NHS last week.” Stacy and Tina start up with the usual salon gossip. Even though we’re not actually in the salon, I know I just heard Nicola stop taking pictures and Lara has ceased messing with my wedding dress. They totally want to overhear this bit of goss.
“Never!”
“Mm-hmm.” Stacy confirms Tina’s disgust. “Pig-face got her new boobs paid for on the NHS because she said she was bonkers, innit?”
“Don’t tell me.” I hear Tina feign disinterest. “I don’t want to know.”
There’s a lengthy pause before Tina speaks again. “It was Clare, wasn’t it?”
“Well, yeah.” Stacy says. “I told you it was pig-face herself what did it. You know how her nose sticks up like a pig’s snout and all.”
“You mean she told her doctors she was bipolar, or some such?”
“Nah! She just said she was depressed and she’d off herself if she couldn’t get implants.”
Some people! I’m disgusted just hearing about this Clare woman. Not that I should probably be believing salon gossip, but if it’s true that’s a despicable thing for a person to do. Imagine that. Faking depression just to get a boob job. Not even I would pretend to be depressed about my huge bosoms just to get a breast-reduction paid for by the NHS.
When I next wake up I can’t believe I actually fell asleep in the first place. Peeking open my eyes I find they don’t feel chubby and pressurised.
“My eyes!” I exclaim as I glance into a hand mirror. My lids are no longer swollen. “My nails!” I shout again after seeing my new acrylics. Stacy may be horrible at doing wedding hair, but she’s a wizard when it comes to nail repair.
“Just wait until we get you into this dress and finish off your look.” Lara holds up my gown and I smile. It’s such pretty flowing fabric. Yards and yards of fabric actually. I can’t fail to look good in it. I’m sure Callum will be pleased.
So why can’t I work up proper excitement about the dress?
I don’t know. Maybe I’m still feeling emotionally sore after yesterday’s wedding cancellations followed by today’s re-scheduling of everything. Perhaps my brain hasn’t yet fully processed the idiotic ups and downs that have been thrown at it mentally.
Whatever the case, the fact of the matter is my wedding is definitely on and I’m going to have to get ready for it sooner or later.
***
Tina,