want you to become unhealthy and leave her like your dad did.”
“Exactly.”
Well, I for one definitely view Brenda under a much different light now. “I guess this means your mum really does love me too.”
“‘Of course she does, babe. But what do you mean?”
“She wants me and you to stay physically fit so that we don’t leave her like your dad did.”
The tears flow again. Here we two sit crying like babies on a day that’s supposed to be filled with smiles instead. But you know what? These are happy tears. To hell with ceremony’s that are supposed to express love by signing a piece of paper. This is all we need to make this day a special one whether we get legally hitched or not.
That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do the right thing. I do need that piece of paper in a way because it will enable me to show my fiancé just how much I love him.
***
“I’ve got some bad news, honey.” Callum helps me into my wedding dress — sans control underwear.
“Oh no, what now?”
“I think we’re a bit late for our own wedding.”
“You think so?” I look at the wall clock. “You’re right. Two hours late really is ever so unfashionable of us.”
We both laugh, but I choke a bit when Callum starts tying up the back of my corset. “Not too tight please.”
“Oh right, sorry.”
We get my dress onto my body in the end and I feel a bit more comfortable in it without the slimming wear on underneath. “I’ve got some bad news for you as well, I’m afraid.”
Callum crooks his eyebrow showing interest at my statement.
“I’m going to have to delay the wedding further to speak with your mum.”
“I think Mum will be okay.” He snorts. “She’s been one tough cookie for me over the years as it is.”
“Fair point, but I’d still like to apologise to her.”
“What for? You’ve been a star, babe. I’m the one who should apologise to you.”
Turning, I give my fiancé a strange-faced look because I have no idea what he could possibly be on about.
“You’ve put up with Mum forcing you into her aerobics classes. When I stopped you from having that enema done, I kind of realised I’ve been letting her have her way for a bit too long now. So if you do want to have a chat with my Mum, I’ll be speaking with her as well. She’s not going to be pressuring you with any more exercise suggestions and I definitely won’t allow her near your colon for any sort of irrigation purposes.”
Shaking my head I grin at him. “You certainly have a way with words, even if they are words about my bowels.”
“Don’t worry,” He says. “I haven’t written anything about your digestive system in my wedding vows.”
“Pah!” I snort a laugh. “Thanks for that.”
Callum dons his groom tuxedo once again. Gosh but he looks like a handsome James Bond. Like my favourite Piers Bronsnan Bond, not the more recent Bond who I just don’t fancy in the slightest.
The drive back to the wedding venue is a pleasant one, made luxurious by the fact that we’re sat in the newest type of expensive Range Rover on the market.
“I saw this thing on an episode of Top Gear the other week.” I stroke the dashboard with my bare hand. “I never thought I’d get to ride in one in my lifetime!”
“Sometimes it pays to have a friend who owns his own manufacturing business.” Callum steers us straight into a ditch. The suspension on this vehicle is so incredible, I barely feel the pothole as a slight bump.
“Maybe you should close the cafe and I’ll start up my own manufacturing business.”
“What exactly would you manufacture?”
Callum glances briefly at me before putting his eyes back onto the road ahead. “I don’t know, but it definitely wouldn’t be robots.”
Oh dear god. I can’t believe he even went there as a joke. Now that I think on it though, I’m sort of glad he’s broached the subject. “What was up with that massive robot of Oliver’s?”
“Don’t worry about that now, honey. We’ve got a wedding that we’re about three hours late for already. Do you think our guests will still be there?”
I highly doubt it, and I tell Callum as much. I’m not all that fussed though. It’s not like I know what’s going on in the minds of those who cancelled on me anyway. The fact that they’d pulled through today still doesn’t replace all the