in the mirror as this was the advice from Dr Shield. “That book,” I reply sheepishly. Pointing at the bed, I watch as he strides forward and scoops up my Kindle.
If I thought my fiancé was frowning before, it’s nothing compared to the way his brows draw together as she flicks through the pages of the eReader screen. “For fuck sake.” I hear him mumble this a few times. “For fuck sake, Em!” Now he says his swear words a lot louder. “What is this crap? Fat Bitch equals Fat Bride, my arse. You are not fat and have never been. You are not going to walk down any aisle as a fat bride, because that’s just not possible. Even if you were fat you still shouldn’t be reading an idiot book like this… Oh my god, Em—”
I’ve lost it. I burry my face in my hands and start weeping openly on the spot.
Callum gathers me quickly into his arms. “Oh, Emily baby, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.” He strokes my hair as I struggle to find the words to reply. I’m desperate to respond to my fiancé because I don’t want him thinking any of this is his fault.
“It’s okay, Cal,” I finally manage to croak. I lift my head and look up at my gorgeous man. “You’re right. You’re one hundred per cent right and I’m a complete idiot.” I didn’t know why my fiancé’s anger had unsettled me so, but I definitely know now. He is right about that blasted book. I should have listened to my doubts about it when I first started reading the damn thing!
“Aw, babe. You really are an idiot, yes.”
“Shut up.” I punch Callum in his stomach playfully. We both laugh, but then he turns serious-faced again.
“Honestly, honey. What on earth convinced you that this eBook has useful advice?”
“It’s not my fault. Well, it is.” I acquiesce. “But the author is a doctor of fitness and she’s quite convincing.”
“A doctor of fitness?” Callum gets a look on his face that defies logic. “I don’t believe I’ve ever heard of such a thing.” He sits us both onto the bed and I snuggle up against his arm, reading the eBook over his shoulder. “The author of this book is no doctor, Em. It says here she’s a self-proclaimed health mentor. Did you even bother to review the ratings?”
“Of course I did!” Snatching the Kindle away from my fiancé, I flick to the final ePage that links to the online book reviews. “See,” I say, with an I-told-you-so attitude. “The book has four stars.”
“Hmmm.” Callum looks dubious. He kisses me on the cheek, distracting me while he snatches back the eReader.
“Hey!” I complain with false indignity. “Don’t grab, you punk.”
He snorts a laugh and scrolls down the screen. “It looks to me like the reason this book has four stars is because half of them are five stars, while the other half are all one stars.”
“Oh.”
“So you know what that usually means, right my love?”
I have to admit that I do know exactly what my fiancé is talking about. We’ve both found this to be true about certain ratings. When five star reviews seem too good to be true, they probably are. They’re most likely fake reviews written to boost an author’s main rating. These praise-worthy reviews are usually created by friends and family of the author.
“The one star ratings are the real ones.” I answer Callum eventually.
To prove his point he starts reading out one of the five star reviews. “This book was great! It was fantastic! I’ve never read such good a book in such a long long time! I love the author and I want her to write more books on my fat loss right now!”
I cringe inwardly at having to listen to such an obviously butt-kiss like review.
Now Callum reads from a one star review. “Do not waste your money on this book. The author clearly doesn’t know what she’s on about. When is it ever good for any person of any (dress) size to call themselves fat, and call themselves bitches no less?”
“That sounds a bit more honest.” I interject.
Callum nods his head. “That’s because these reviewers are right, it really isn’t a good thing to be yelling at yourself like that in the mirror. Jesus, Em, I didn’t know what was going on when I walked in and—”
“I’m so sorry, honey.” I grab his hand. “I promise I’ll never read any crazy advice books ever