with the exclamation marks when text communicating? I know for a fact that I’m not nearly as boisterous face to face as so many online exclaimings might suggest. Although, I can see a plethora of anxious punctuation when I turn to inspect the open packet of diet snacks. I think I’ll just stick to wine. I don’t want to end up accidentally eating a bug.
Giving my Facebook timeline one last scroll through, I’m about to log off when a status update catches my attention. It’s a link under one of the local bridal pages I follow. Apparently a journalist for the local newspaper needs curvy women of a certain weight to take part in a photoshoot today. What’s funny is that the weight listed just so happens to be the exact weight that I weigh! On the status update I comment about this fact.
I’m just about to log off for good when a response comment pops up immediately. I’ve been asked to email my local newspaper. Taking another sip of my diet wine I figure it couldn’t hurt, so I whisk off a quick email message just before logging off Facebook.
***
After finishing my glass of wine I decide to eat the diet snack. I open the packet and eat the bits one by one, making sure to keep my eye on each piece. Also, I can’t help but glance around the kitchen for any hanging spiders. I wouldn’t want a creepy crawly to surprise me by falling into my packet of diet snacks. I might eat it like Lara and her bug chomping disaster. Unlike her though, I definitely wouldn’t be able to keep calm and carry one. The mere thought of eating an insect makes me gag and I have to put down the munchies I’m chewing on.
I really don’t know how the I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here celebrities do it.
Ping.
My iPhone alerts me to the fact that I have a new incoming email message. When I check it I discover it’s a response from the local newspaper. A rapid response as well. It’s about the Facebook status update I’d commented on and wow did they get back to me quick.
I scroll down past my own message. The woman who replied to me is called Naomi and judging by her message she seems lovely. The email states that they are indeed looking for curvy women, who are thinking about losing weight, to take part in a photoshoot that’s being printed tomorrow!
Oh my that’s soon.
I’ve been asked to send in a full length body shot of myself. I don’t even know if I own such a thing. Normally when I take snaps of myself it’s only images of my head taken from a certain angle to make my jawline look sharper. Also, I Instagram-effects the hell out of pics that I know I’m going to put on Facebook or Twitter.
Well, I guess I could whip out the old camera and tripod. It’s the only way I’m going to get a full body shot of myself as Callum isn’t here to snap any photos of me.
I figure I don’t have anything to lose by sending in my picture. If anything they’ll get an eyeful of my glamorous bridal hair. Oh but my makeup leaves much to be desired. It’s not like I’ve got a lot of time to slap on tonnes of slap though. If this photoshoot is tomorrow they’ll probably want a photo of me as quickly as possible. But if I rush around I know my face is going to get sweaty and then my picture will come out looking shiny in the face.
Oh bollocks to this.
I scoot off the high stool and brush the crumbs off my trousers. After running upstairs I quickly smear on some red lipstick so that it looks like I’ve at least got some colour to my face.
So as not to damage my updo, I carefully try on different outfits. I settle on an ensemble of chiffon blue shirt and white trousers with tan wedges for shoes. I’m huffing and puffing a bit by the time I get the camera set up onto the tripod, so I calm down for a minute by sitting on the bed while fanning my face with my hand. I really mustn’t get too sweaty faced!
Finally, I decide on a suitable location in which to take a picture of myself standing near the bedroom balcony windows. I remember looking at magazines and when Cosmo isn’t busy