honestly doesn’t taste half bad.
And so, with bottle in arm, some diet crisps in hand and a pretty pile of hair on my head, I drive myself home. Once there I carefully seat myself at the kitchen counter upon one of our art deco high stools. I pour myself a glass of diet wine and slide my finger across the face of my mini tablet PC. Opening the packet of diet snacks I log into Facebook and scroll down my timeline, sharing signs and pics as I go, commenting here and there on funny status updates.
I follow loads of bridal Facebook pages so it comes as no surprise when I start seeing a lot of updo hairstyles. None of which are quite as lovely as Tina had managed to make my own hair, eventually. Even the low percentage of alcohol content in my glass of diet wine is starting to have a nice effect on numbing my pained scalp.
When I’m feeling slightly tipsy I decide to show these Facebook peeps what a real bridal updo should look like. I select the camera app on the tablet device and aim the camera option at my head, so that I can see myself on the screen.
Tina really did a bang up job with gentle hands. The curls that are pinned up on my crown aren’t tight at all, they’re more like subtle flowing waves of golden blonde swirls. She topped off my do with small silver flower beads that perch upon my hair like a delicate floating candle alight in fragrant bathwater.
“See how lovely?” I start speaking into the video I’ve just started recording. “This is the fine work of Tina at her salon. I’ll post a link to her location on this mini vlog.”
Quickly, I upload my short movie to YouTube. Sometimes I do wish I knew how to edit my videos and add in music and stuff, but really I just can’t be bothered to learn such a time consuming thing. Besides, sitting around isn’t good for a bride to be who wants to lose weight. I need to stay on my feet! Which is rich, coming from my conscience, as I continue to sit here imbibing wine.
When I’ve shared my hair video on Facebook I get quite a few likes and comments. The feedback is making me super excited for our upcoming wedding. Now that I’ve actually managed to lose some weight I can stay on track and keep up with workouts.
I’ve got my wedding hair style sorted and soon I’ll find my dream dress at Lara’s bridal shop. Well, I will find something I like even if it means her bringing the dresses to me. I’m avoiding robots everywhere at any cost.
Come to think of it, I haven’t really had to do much bot avoiding lately. Paige had kept her ladder robot in the storeroom of her health food shop. Tina had kept her bot to herself in her office at the salon.
Just as I’m pondering this, the very woman whose bridal bot I’m thinking about avoiding, comes online. I open a little chat window in Facebook and connect with Lara.
Me: What are your plans for the rest of the day?
Lara: I think I just ate a bug.
Me: Why do you think that?
Lara: Well, there was a bug on the table and it’s not there anymore.
Me: Oh right, so the only possible explanation is that you ate it?
Lara: I was eating cashew nuts and one of them tasted… a little off.
Me: Do you mean OFF like it was a burnt nut, or OFF like it was a bunch of guts and bile encased in an exoskeleton?
Lara: The second one.
Me: Then I would say you definitely did eat a bug.
Lara: What are your plans for the day?
Me: Pardon?
Lara: You asked what I’m doing for the rest of the day.
Me: Oh, nothing.
Lara: You were going to ask me to do something with you, weren’t you?
Me: Yeah, but I’ve changed my mind.
Lara: You don’t want to hook up with me because I ate a bug. That’s it, isn’t it?
Me: Well, I’m not proud of it, but yes. That is it.
Lara: Don’t be a silly cow. What did you want to do today?
Me: I was wondering if you got the new bridal dresses in yet.
Lara: Oh that. I haven’t, sorry.
Me: See? So we won’t be hooking up anyway.
Lara: Yeah, I’ll text you when the dresses are in. I’ve got to go now. Bye!!! xxx
Me: Hugs!!! Bye!!! xxx
Why do we always overdo it