definitely going to be a blue sky day that I’m going to miss. There is absolutely no way I can get out of bed when I’m in this much pain.
“Here you go, my love.” Callum hands me a glass of water and two pills. Somehow, I manage to swallow them while lying on my side. “Wow,” my fiancé’s eyes go wide. “That was impressive.”
“What was?” I moan.
“Taking medicine while lying down, of course.” He sits on the edge of the bed and pushes my blonde hair back. “Another day off work for you today then.”
Finally, his words make me feel something other the agony that is my lower extremities. My bottom lip protrudes outwards and I frown. Damn Callum and his considerable nature. His sympathy always makes me feel worse.
“I really did overdo it at the gym last night.” My voice comes out very wobbly and if I don’t stop this self-pity-party right now I’m going to burst into tears like a baby. “I can’t leave the cafe to Anika and Fiona again though.”
“They’ll be fine, honey.” Callum kisses me on the forehead to avoid my morning breath. “Now get some rest and I’ll phone the cafe for you.”
I take his advice, sort of. I’m staying in bed but I’m not getting any rest. If the painkillers I took don’t kick in soon I’m never going to be able to sleep. And sleep is what I definitely need right now if my shredded leg muscles are ever going to heal.
Callum goes to work and I’m left staring out the window doors once again.
It’s only now that I realise I need to go for a wee. Due to indescribably painful leg trauma, I must have been unable to notice the pressure in my bladder until now that it’s positively bursting.
With many moans and groans I sit up. Latching my hands onto the top of the headboard, I pull myself upwards. Daring to move a muscle I shift one of my legs ever so slightly.
“Oohhh!” Ouch, that hurt.
I’m now in a very awkward position so I steel myself and push off the headboard.
“Eeeeee!” I wince in agony as the pain in my legs increases tenfold. I’m not going to lay back down though, if I do I’ll wet the bed.
Gritting my teeth harder than the woman at the gym did last night, I slide one sore leg out of bed. My foot hits the carpeted floor with a thunk, sending shockwaves of pain up through my leg as though it’s made of jelly.
Slowly, but agonizingly, I stand and creep towards the en-suite bathroom. Every step I take is sheer torture on my legs. It feels like I’ve done a lot more damage than just shredding the hell out of my muscles. I just know I must have torn some ligaments beneath my skin somewhere!
Gasping, I take a final step and cling to the bathroom doorframe. Only a few more steps and I’ll make it to the toilet. I can do this! I have to do this! I will not stand here and pee all down my own legs, even if I have heard that peeing in the shower is a terrific muscle relaxer!
With the last of my resolve I make it to the toilet and relieve my bladder of its liquid pressure. I end up going for such a hard wee that it hits the inner bowl and sounds like someone’s hosing down and elephant.
After wiping thoroughly I bend forward and tip myself off the toilet seat. I crawl back towards the bed and climb painfully onto the mattress. As I slide underneath the duvet I think the painkillers are finally starting to kick in. The pain in my legs subsides enough to allow me some sleep. As I doze off I can’t help wishing I’d just stayed in Kirsten’s Zumba class. At this point in my painful existence I’d welcome electrocution rather than the agony that’s caused from cycle shredding.
***
When I wake for the second time in the same day, it’s due to the fact that the painkillers have worn off. My legs are once again in full blown agony.
I’m tempted to ring up Callum and tell him to come home immediately so that he can take care of me. Actually, I’m tempted to saw my own legs off if it means relief from this burning pain!
The rest of my day goes on like this. I’m one big ball of suffering. I don’t dare move. Maybe this is what I deserve.