so he can look out my side window at the parking lot. “Remember this place? I spent so much time here.”
“So did I.” I sigh. “I really wanted to use your BB gun.”
He smiles at me, this time not looking nearly as melancholy. “I was so happy I had that thing. I would’ve worn it in a holster if I could have, but it was too long. Believe me, though, I tried.”
“Why?”
“Because. Every time I had it with me, this gorgeous girl showed up asking me if she could borrow it.” He shrugs. “It was like a chick magnet for the only chick I ever wanted to talk to.”
I shake my head at him. “So pitiful.” It’s amazing to me, hearing that when we were kids, he was into me. I never guessed, never even saw a single sign of it. It makes me wonder if he’s making it up now in an attempt to make me feel better.
He shrugs one shoulder. “Whatever works.”
We stare at each other until I can’t handle it anymore. I drop my gaze to his leg. “You didn’t have to come out here.”
His voice is gentle. “I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to.”
I shift my gaze to look out the front windshield, not knowing what to say. I feel so lost.
“I know you don’t really want to talk to me or even see me right now, but I just had to make sure you were okay. I know you’re pissed about what happened at the meeting.”
I can barely summon the energy to shrug my shoulders. “Nothing happened. It’s just business.”
“Bullshit. It’s not just business, and we both know it. You got stuck on desk duty because you’re pregnant, and that’s not cool.”
I look at him, surprised at his reaction. “But you’re the guy who thinks I need some kind of nursemaid living in my house with me. I would’ve thought you’d be happy about Ozzie’s decision.”
Lucky shakes his head and leans over, taking my hand and holding it between his. “You’ve got it all wrong, Toni. I’m not there to be anybody’s nursemaid. I’m there to be a partner with you in this thing. I don’t think it’s fair that you have to do everything yourself. I’m the one who got you pregnant, so I should be shouldering half the load.” He lets go of my hand and sits back against the door. “I was wrong to go all caveman and force myself on you. I was just . . . I don’t know . . . feeling overwhelmed after reading that stuff in those books.” There’s an apology in his eyes. “I’m worried, but that’s not an excuse. We all have to stop acting crazy about this situation and just let you be you. Ozzie was out of line, and I’m going to say something about it.” His jaw bounces out as anger settles in.
I shake my head. “Don’t. I already said something to him, and it didn’t go over well. I don’t want him to be pissed at you too.”
Lucky’s eyebrows go up. “What’d you say?”
I shrug. “Pretty much what you just said. I also might’ve mentioned that May shouldn’t be the one going out in the field because she doesn’t belong there.”
Lucky winces. “Ouch. I’ll bet he didn’t like that.”
I laugh sadly. “Nope. Not at all. He called me out for questioning his authority.”
“Well, whatever. He’ll get over it. But you should be allowed to go out into the field just like you used to.”
“You’re not worried about me messing up because I’m pregnant?”
He shakes his head, looking right at me. “I know you’re just as capable as a pregnant person as you are being a non-pregnant person. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about your safety.”
“Why now if you weren’t worried about it before?”
“Who says I wasn’t worried before?”
“Because you never said anything.”
“Doesn’t mean I wasn’t worried.” He stares at me and I stare back. The temperature in the car rises.
“I really wish you’d let me move in with you. I promise I won’t step on your toes.” He looks so hopeful, it’s almost painful.
“I think I just need my space.” My words are meant as an apology, but he takes it as caving in.
He sits up straighter, leaning toward me a little. “I promise I’ll give you space. All that you need. I’ll sleep in a different room, I’ll eat my meals at a different time . . . You’ll hardly even know