a thing? What is that? Pregnancy brain . . .” I feel panicky again. I need my brain for work.
He reaches into the side pocket of a suitcase and pulls out a book. “I marked the page for you.” He points to a dog-eared corner. “You should read this thing. You have no idea how much your body and your brain are going to change over the next nine months.”
My panic increases as I take the book from him and look down at the title. “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” I look up at him. “Are you serious? You actually bought this?”
“Yeah. As soon as I dropped you off, I went to the bookstore. And then I started reading and I realized, you need me here.” He huffs out a breath and continues. “I know it’s not cool to just shove myself into your life, but hear me out . . .”
He pauses, maybe waiting for an argument to come from me, but I’m too stunned to find one. He was reading pregnancy books in the store right after he left me?
“Toni, you’re an independent woman, and I respect that completely. I do. And I know you well enough to know that no matter how hard this pregnancy gets, you’ll get through it. You’ll handle it, and you won’t ask for help, even when you need it.”
“That’s not . . .”
He holds up a hand, cutting off my disagreement. “Let me finish . . . As I was saying, you’re very independent and you’re used to doing things yourself. But, I think this time, it would be a mistake to try and do that.”
“To be myself?”
“No, to do it all alone. This pregnancy will take over your whole body. And your head. You’ll get sick and really tired, and you’ll need help around here.” He looks all around us. “Your place is huge. It’s too much work for one person as it is, but a pregnant person? It’s way too much. Impossible. The place will start falling down around your ears, and then a baby will arrive and it’ll be hopeless.”
I look at his suitcases, the book dangling in my hand. “So you left me here, went to the bookstore, skimmed a few books, and then you packed all your stuff?” And he broke some kind of land speed record getting all this done in just over an hour.
“Yes, I did. I started reading the book and I realized . . . It’s not fair to you that you do all this work on your own. You need me here. I’m partly responsible for you being in this position.”
That’s when I realize that I’m not panicking nearly as much as he apparently is. I roll my eyes. “I’m pretty sure I can handle this myself and that my house is not going to fall down around my ears.”
“Okay, maybe you can handle it alone, but you shouldn’t.” He picks up two suitcases, almost shoving me out of the way to get past and into the front hallway. “Just read the first chapter. You’ll see what I mean.”
I wander into the living room as I thumb through the pages. Different words jump out at me: Fetus. Placenta. Pre-eclampsia. Mucus plug. The pictures are horrible. I fall onto the couch, forgetting there are no cushions there. My butt hits a fabric-covered board and I moan, leaning sideways to rub my tailbone.
Lucky appears out of nowhere. “Are you okay? Are you having cramps?”
I look at him, scowling. “No, I’m not having cramps, fool. I fell on the couch.”
He nods. “Yep. You’re going to start losing your balance. It’s totally normal, though, so don’t worry.”
“My balance?” I start skimming pages again. This shit is sounding scarier by the second. I thought all I had to worry about were stretch marks and a little weight gain.
“Don’t worry, I bought a bunch of other books,” he says from the front porch. “We’ll study. We’ll figure everything out, and I’ll be totally prepared for the big day. No surprises.”
I let the book drop to the couch at my side. “Don’t you think you might be taking this a little too far?”
He brings in the last of his two cases and drops them at the foot of the stairs, shutting the door behind him. He locks it and sets my alarm code. “You’re bringing a human being into the world.” He joins me in the living room and sits on the table opposite me, our knees touching.