here before then, because he knew I was going to be stuck in the cubicles from hell all afternoon.”
I look at the frozen video on my screen, tapping my pen as it all comes together for me: if I want to talk to Ozzie, I’m stuck with the pizza party, because this is not a conversation I want to have over the phone. Unfortunately, pizza parties could be my least favorite thing in the entire world, especially when they include the whole team and everyone’s family; it’s just too much noise and chaos for me. But if this is where I’m going to find Ozzie, then this is where I need to be.
“I guess I’ll see you at the pizza party, then.”
“Yay! I’m so happy. I’ll email Jenny right now and tell her you’re coming.”
“I’m sure she doesn’t care.”
“Well, you are wrong about that, Little Miss Grouchy Pants. Jenny and I both love it when you come to our events.”
I go back to watching my video, completely unconvinced about the truth of that statement. Wouldn’t it be nice, though, to have a group of people looking forward to me showing up?
I don’t know where that thought just came from, but it’s seriously unsettling. Yikes. Never in my life have I wanted to belong to anything other than the Bourbon Street Boys team. My fingers tremble as they hover over the keyboard. I’m afraid this pregnancy is already giving me brain damage.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
I’m standing on Jenny’s front porch and I can hear the noise coming from inside her house with the door still closed. I deliberately waited until I knew the party would be in full swing before showing up, hoping that Ozzie would be happy to talk to me out back because it would be a welcome break from all the chaos.
I pause at the front door, my fingers resting on the handle for just a few moments. Butterflies slam dance in my stomach as I imagine myself telling Ozzie about my situation. Up until now, it’s been just a concept: I’m going to talk to Ozzie and get his advice. But now, moments away from the actual event, I’m picturing myself looking up at my friend and advisor and saying I’m pregnant, and I’m getting sick over the thought of his possible reaction. Maybe I should just turn around and run away. It’s a tempting thought, but I know I can’t follow through on it.
I have to tell the man I respect more than anyone else in the world that I lack the control it takes to pause in the heat of the moment and tell a guy to put a condom on. The humiliation runs deep. But there’s nothing to do about it now; what’s done is done and I just need to face up to it. I press on the handle’s button and let myself in. The door swings open and the noise hits me like a heavy woolen blanket, scratchy and suffocating.
“Toni! You made it!” May comes running over on tiptoe, a slice of pizza in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. “I’m so happy to see you.” She envelopes me in a hug made with her elbows.
I glance first to my left, and find myself looking into a glass of wine dipping precariously toward my head, and then to my right, where a slice of pizza is about to jab me in the eye. I stiffen and wait for the one-sided love-fest to be over.
She backs away and looks at me, smiling.
“You have pepperoni in your teeth.” I blink at her, waiting for her to react.
“Really? Where?” She smiles harder.
Jenny comes over and nudges her sister to the side. “Hi, Toni. Good to see you. It’s been a while.” She pulls me into a hug, this one without wine or food joining in.
I reach one hand around her ribs and pat her on the back. “Thanks for inviting me.”
May is busy sucking pizza out of her teeth as Jenny leans back and smiles at me. “I hear you want to talk to Ozzie. He’s out back with Lucky and Thibault. Can I get you a glass of wine or a beer?”
I press my lips together and shake my head. Every horrible thought I can possibly come up with is rushing through my brain all at once. What are they doing out there? Are they talking about me? Are they making a plan to keep me out of the business? Are they