kicking me off the team? Are they going to lock me up in my house and make me drink non-caffeinated beverages and eat fresh fruits and vegetables until I’m ready to explode? I’m anxious to get back there with Ozzie, but I don’t want Jenny or her sister to know it.
I shrug. “I’ll just have some water if that’s okay.”
Jenny gives me a funny look. “Water? Okaaay. Water it is.” She turns away and walks to the kitchen, grabbing her sister’s sleeve as she goes. May looks like she’s trying to decide whether to follow her sister or to continue to interrogate me, but when Jenny calls out to her, the conflict ends. May turns on her heel and walks down the hall behind her sister, taking another bite of her pizza as she goes.
I look to my left once the two of them are farther down the hallway and see Dev sitting on the floor with a whole pile of kids. Sammy is in his lap and his son’s wheelchair is next to Sammy. Sammy is resting his hand on Jacob’s foot while Dev’s son is leaning over to walk an action figure over the top of Sammy’s head. Sammy is smiling at the offense.
Crazy kids. I have the strangest urge to reach down and rest my hand on my lower stomach, but I resist. This pregnancy might not even last. One of the books that Lucky left in my house says that over thirty percent of first-time pregnancies end in early miscarriage. Maybe my mistake will fix itself without any help from me. I suddenly feel like crying.
“Hey, Toni,” Dev says, looking at me funny.
All the kids look up at his comment and catch me in the hallway. My heart constricts at all those innocent eyes staring me down. I feel like they can see right through me, into my soul. I fear they’ll find blackness there, and I don’t want it to rub off on them. It reminds me what a horrible mother I’m going to be. Maybe I should think about adoption.
“Miss Toni,” exclaims Sammy. “You came to the pizza party.” He jumps up from Dev’s lap and runs over to me with his hand out.
I’ve met the kid, like, a hundred times already, but he always greets me with a handshake. If my baby turns out like him, maybe it won’t be so bad.
I bend over and hold my hand out, taking his little fingers in mine. “Hello, Sammy. How’ve you been?”
“I’ve been really good. Did you notice anything different about me?” He sways a little on his feet with his hands on his butt, looking especially cute.
I rest my hands on my thighs, still bent over, examining him closely. “Did you grow a new freckle on your nose?” I point at his face. “I think I see a new one there.”
He shakes his head. “No. That’s not it. Try again.”
I take a moment to examine him for real this time, but the kid looks exactly the same to me. I don’t get these games that they play. I shrug. “Sorry, bud, but I don’t see anything different about you.”
Sammy nods. “Very good, Miss Toni. You are very observant. But the difference you will see in me is not with your eyes.” He’s talking so funny, I almost missed it. But then I realize Sammy’s giving me the biggest hint he possibly can without actually giving away his secret. All the other kids are completely silent, waiting with bated breath to see if I’ll figure it out.
I don’t know why a warm glow spreads through me when I look into his eyes and wink. “Maybe I hear something a little different about you . . . ?”
Sammy jumps up and down, clapping his hands, reminding me eerily of his Auntie May. “You got it! You got it! I’ve been going to speech thhhherapy.”
“I noticed. You talk differently now.”
He puts his little hands on his hips and nods once. “Yes, I do. Thank you for noticing. It’s very hard work, but Miss Tansey tells me that if I keep trying and if I’m nice to myself and don’t get too mad when I mess up, I’m going to go far.”
I stand up straighter and nod, patting him on the head. “I’m sure she’s right.”
I glance over and catch Dev giving me a thumbs-up. His son mimics the gesture. I wave to them and continue down the hall. “I have to go talk to Ozzie. I’ll see