shake my head. “I don’t know why you suddenly see this little girl who needs everybody’s help sitting in front of you. Just because I’m pregnant, it doesn’t change who I am. What’s wrong with you guys?”
Lucky might be a tiny bit contrite. “I don’t know. Logically I know you’re as tough as ever.” He shrugs. “I can’t say why, but I’m definitely looking at you differently now. I guess I’m just a sexist pig or something.” He looks down at the table with a confused expression on his face.
I slap my hand on the table. “Well, don’t be that person! You’ve never been a sexist pig before, so don’t start now. I’m still the same girl I was two weeks ago. Nothing has changed.”
Thibault is shaking his head, his expression concerned.
I turn on him. “What? What’s your problem?”
He’s looking at me like he’s one of our parents again. “You know that’s not exactly true, Toni. Things have changed. You’re pregnant, and you can’t just disregard that fact. You have to deal with it.”
It’s not his words that have my back up so much as the tone he uses. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that your duties at work are going to have to change.” Thibault looks over at Lucky, and Lucky nods. They both look sad, but they’re not nearly as sad as I am. I’m battling tears.
“Why? Nothing has to change as far as I’m concerned.”
Thibault sits back and sighs. “You forget that I’m the one who handles the insurance for the group. I have to manage our risks to the extent possible. Sending you out into the field, into those neighborhoods where we go, is not an option right now. You’ll have to work a lot more inside the warehouse. We need to lower your personal risk to as close to zero as we can.”
Thibault’s my brother, but he’s also kind of my boss. If I fly off the handle now, he’ll know that I can’t handle my shit when stuff gets hard.
“I can see why you would think that, but you know that when I go out in the field it’s pretty much no risk. We just go out, take a look at things, and come back and talk about it. That’s it.”
Thibault’s brows go up. “I read May’s report about what went down today. I wouldn’t exactly call that a no-risk situation.”
I want to explode, I’m so angry. “What report? I’m the one who was supposed to write the report, and I haven’t submitted it yet.”
“Actually, you were both supposed to submit a report together, but since you left work early, May did it herself. And I’m glad she did, because its contents are germane to this conversation.”
Breathe in for five seconds, breathe out for six. In for five, out for six. It’s the only way I can keep from jumping up and punching a hole in the wall.
Lucky leans in and puts his hand on my knee. “Babe, I can see you’re upset, but I wish you would just listen to your brother for a minute.”
I don’t move a single millimeter. I just look at him, my expression dead. “I hear everything you’re both saying. Trust me.” Obviously, this pregnancy has turned them both into cavemen, but I’ve got news for them: I ain’t no cavewoman.
He’s almost pleading now. “I know you hear the words, but I’m not sure you appreciate where they’re coming from. We just care about you so much, and we worry that in an effort to prove yourself, you’ll take too much risk and end up getting hurt. You could hurt the baby.”
Tears rush to my eyes, and I battle to keep them from falling down my cheeks. “Are you saying that I’m the type of mother who would intentionally hurt her child?” I guess I can’t blame him for thinking that; I am a murderer after all. But it still hurts.
He grips my knee hard. “No, I would never say that. And I would never think it, either. You’re misunderstanding me.”
“Toni, come on, you know he didn’t mean it that way.” Thibault sounds disappointed in me, which feels like a knife to the gut. “Stop turning this into a pity party.”
I stand slowly, unable to deal with these idiots anymore. “It’s late. And as you’ve pointed out many times already, I’m pregnant, and I guess that means I’m more tired than I would normally be. So I’m going to go upstairs and leave you cavemen down here to