been ordered.
Once they were done, Mama T was sniffling and Remy looked like he was finally happy to be home.
“Well then,” she sniffed. “You two better eat, shower, and get rested. If I know that girlfriend of yours, you’re in for one hell of a party.”
Chapter Five
Kennedy
The smell of fresh-baked pie announced Mom’s presence before she actually came into my room after Linc and Remy left for their party.
“You should go,” she said quietly. “You never leave the house anymore. It would be good for you. I know that you want to.”
She was right. I’d been sitting up here, for three hours, trying to convince myself that it was time for me to make a move. To do something about my feelings for Linc, but so many things stopped me. Not the least of which was what I’d been through the last time I went to a party with anyone in our town. Although I couldn’t tell my mom that. Instead, I put on my best fake smile and aimed it right at her.
“I think I’d rather stay home and watch a movie. With you.” Then, just to make sure she bought it, I batted my eyelashes at her and pouted.
She didn’t buy it, though not for a second. Her indelicate snort was the final thing that gave it away.
“Fine,” I huffed at her. “I don’t want to go.”
“Liar,” she said bluntly. Mom never really had time for bullshit, especially after everything that happened. “You do want to go. I know for a fact that you still have feelings for Linc. Even after everything you went through. When you wouldn’t let anyone else in. Do you think I didn’t see you writing letters to him at the kitchen table?”
Swallowing was suddenly extremely hard, as her words cut through every excuse I’d try to put up.
“I also saw that you never mailed a single letter either. Which meant you were never planning on telling him in person.” Mom kept going like she hadn’t just wiped me out with her words. “So, I suggest you raid your closet for your cutest little black dress, and you go make him see you. Really see you. Especially if he can bring you back to me after everything that had happened last year.” She held it together until the end, but that’s when I saw her wipe away a few tears.
Okay, so keeping everything that had happened to myself hurt the people around me. I understood that, but if they found out the truth, the full extent of it, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that it would destroy my entire family. So, I’d continue to keep my secret, and I’d heal in my own way to protect everyone that I love.
Still Mom was right. I did want Linc, more than anything else. I wanted what he’d bring to me—something I didn’t have before and needed.
Blinking away the stray thoughts, I decided that Mom was right. After all, it’s not like I wanted him forever. Just one night would be enough. One night to get him out of my head and into my bed and then I could just walk away. It’s not like it would be all that hard, either. Linc was in the military. He’d be going back to his duty station, and I’d finally be able to get on with my life. Not that my life revolved around him, just that he’d be able to give me something back that I’d had stolen—a choice.
“I don’t have a little black dress.” The admission hurt, for so many reasons.
A year ago, I’d have four at a minimum. Although after that dark night, I’d thrown out anything that made it easy for me to be taken advantage of. No skirts, dresses, or anything that rode up on my thighs. I’d lived in overly large shirts and leggings ever since. The only thing to survive the purge had been my skinny jeans. Those had only made it, because I knew at some point, I’d have to do something requiring actual pants and not leggings.
“Raid your sister’s closet. Cassie kept at least half your dresses before you could get them into the trash.” Mom rolled her eyes. “Lord knows that girl is going to be the death of me.” With that, she left me to my own devices. Mom was always like that.
She had let us learn and live on our own to help us grow. Or maybe it was because she had four kids and