hit eight things started to shift. By the time we were in middle school most of my classmates were afraid of him, and my dad threatened to beat my mom within an inch of her life so she ran off. I couldn’t blame her for it, but the reason I have resentment toward her is because she left me behind. She left me behind alone to endure it.
I’ve heard from Bull that Chaz and Crina have been staying in the clubhouse, so I slide on my winter coat, get in my boots, and walk down the path to the clubhouse. I go slow so I can take my time and try to calm myself down, but I’m freaking out with every step. I’m terrified he’s going to be mad at me, or he’s going to want to take my baby away. I never thought I could have children after some of the things Boomer did to me. Hell, one gynecologist I saw when I was nineteen said that I’d never have children due to trauma I went through. Considering I dated men and never wound up pregnant, I assumed they were correct, but here I am with a child in my belly. A miracle child at that.
Once I step on the concrete of the porch it feels like the wind gets knocked out of me. My throat tightens at the sight of dark rimmed glasses coming toward me. He’s wearing a coat with his cut over it and he’s in the process of looking down at his carton of cigarettes. But as he pulls the cigarette from the box, his eyes meet mine. For a split second I debate doing a complete one-eighty and getting the fuck out of here, but I know this will catch up to me one day and I just can’t handle that. It’s better to be honest and face whatever he’s going to say. I have to believe it; I just have to. My fear doesn’t go away, but I do my best to gain whatever courage I have and clear my throat.
“Hey,” I rasp out.
Chaz and I haven’t spoken in months, and there’s no way this is going to be easy.
“Hey,” he mutters, eyes raking over me like usual, until his eyes land on the tightness around my stomach. It’s not easy to hide anymore and I’m sure he’s already analyzing dates in his head. “I heard Siren mention she thought you might be pregnant, but here I thought it was a rumor.”
“Do you have a minute to talk?” I question him and his eyes go wide. He’s realizing why I wanted to talk to him in the first place now. It’s obvious as fuck.
“Yeah, what’s goin’ on?” Chaz questions, pulling the cigarette to his lips. He inhales as I work up the courage to tell him what’s going on.
“I’m pregnant.”
He cackles lightly, pulling the cigarette from his mouth. “Yeah, kinda figured that.”
“You’re the . . . it’s your baby, Chaz.” My voice cracks as I speak to him, fear rolling through me, worrying what he’s going to say.
“No. I can’t be.”
“Well, Frost isn’t the father, and she’s the only person I’ve slept with since we—” The door to the clubhouse opens and Crina exits, walking over to Chaz. Shaking my head, I continue what I’m saying because it makes no difference if she’s here or not. He needs to know. If I keep this from him, I’m the bad guy. “Look, I’m not trying to step on toes or demand anything. I just wanted to let you know about the pregnancy and I don’t expect anything from you. I can do this on my own. I can raise this child without—”
“What the hell’s going on here?” Crina holds her own baby bump and I feel disgusted with myself for even putting myself in this situation. I could’ve shut my mouth and stayed quiet the entire time. I could’ve not said a word . . . but I did. I told him the truth because I know if I didn’t my child might suffer. I didn’t want to tell him, but I needed to. There’s no doubt about it.
“I . . . I should probably go,” I murmur quietly, looking right at him.
“The fuck you should. You just told me you’re pregnant. Are you fucking with me or what Chey’?” Chaz questions with raised brows.
“Why the fuck would I be screwing with you!? Huh? What would the point of that be?” I ask him,