As I am her ‘Mr. Casanova’ and her true love, I say to myself as I lock the door behind me and head for ‘The Posy Bowl.’
Chapter Seventeen
Violet
Last night decisions flew left, right, and centre as I needed to broach the subject in a calm manner, the realisation was that Annie had made me open up and listen to my inner self and the feelings that coursed through myself. I needed to realise shutting down all my defence mechanisms and locking the key to that door that I had grown accustomed to whilst I kept my emotions hidden, like I secretly had for the last six months, hoping they would disappear and extinguish would never get me anywhere. The one thing I do know is that I needed to grab every opportunity with both hands, laid open and bare for all to see, as you never know when you could lose everything.
Dread and pain filled me at thoughts of Adam with another woman. I daren’t to think too hard in case the feelings weren’t ever reciprocated in earlier times but I knew deep down he wouldn’t always wait for me. He’s a man, a hot-blooded sexy man who has needs, and no matter how strong his feelings are a time would come when he would need a life. A time where he would need his happily ever after. The issue is I don’t want him to have that life elsewhere, I want him to take the risk with me, just the two of us and see where these electric sparks could actually take us.
On my approach to the shop, being later than anticipated, Annie looked exasperated with me when she flew open the door spluttering the words, “Where have you been?” With her hands on her hips at my tardiness, even though I own the place, as I peer around the doorway to see if I can spot his form. The moment I don’t my shoulders drop.
Before I’ve even had the chance to reply that I had some things to take care of, she says, “You both have it so bad, it’s written all over your faces. You both can’t cover those feelings from me.” Into the quiet depths of the room, I couldn’t deny it, so I just nodded when she encased me in a hug. “What are you going to do about it? As you both are tip-toeing around at the moment.”
As I gaze to my left, I know he’s stopped by already due to the pile of flowers he has left, a mix of lilies and ferns but it was the final pile that sprung an interest and gasp of a light bulb moment, orchids. I would rather have a heart attack than go through the current panics that my chest has endured the last few days, with the unprecedented wait for Adam to make a move. So, it springs to mind an idea that taking the situation into my hands, is better than the current walking on eggshells. Least surely then I could have more control of the situation.
I needed to know what Adam had done last night to plan ahead before asking Annie for a helping hand, so with a bounce in my step, I pounced forward, trying to push as fast as I could to reach those words encased within that envelope. The innermost thoughts and passion locked away within that small, encased rectangle.
A trio of candles all hand poured into porcelain floral cups lay in front of me, each with delicate smells. Lavender and violet tones hit my nose with a mix of a little bit of spiced edge, possibly cinnamon but more with a sweet edge, it was like he was mixing the sweet and the rough together. A little combination of the pair of us together, I thought, as the envelope hit my eye. I flickered it in my fingers, the weight felt much lighter in my heart as I tried to guess the sweet gesture or questions of his mind today and what they may focus on.
Tomorrow I will reveal who I am
When you least expect it
I hope you now realise my feelings are true
No expectations though for you.
He was really being thoughtful and genuine, deeply understanding to the situation especially as he was unaware where my mind was set at the moment. He didn’t want to risk our friendship, I could see that as plain as day, but the wonderful thing was, he was still not giving up. The