his expression softening. “You have to accept that we’ll never know more. A terrible thing happened to us, but there’s nothing to be done. Move on.”
Sasha nodded. “Allie, he’s right. You’re obsessed. You need to get past it, like us.”
“Allie, I should go.” Julian rose. “I’m late to a meeting. Take care.”
Sasha stood up, smoothing down her elegant skirt. “Bye, Allie. Bye.”
“Goodbye.” Allie turned on her heel, went to her car, and left the parking lot without looking back. She knew they’d talk about her after she was gone, but she didn’t care.
If she hurried, she could make it to the reception.
CHAPTER 52
Sasha Barrow
Sasha watched Allie drive away and began to panic. “Julian, do you think she’d tell Kyle’s mother?”
“No. She’s not gonna do anything.” Julian patted her shoulder, his expression melting like it used to, and Sasha knew he was still crazy about her.
“How do you know that? She said she couldn’t take it anymore. If she tells the mother, the mother could tell the cops.”
“She won’t tell the mother because it would upset her and Allie knows it.” Julian went to his car. “Sash, I’m sorry, I have to go. I’m late.”
“But she’s out of control.”
“Sash, don’t worry.” Julian opened his car door and got inside.
“How can I not? She knows everything.”
“What’s happened to you? You used to be so cool. Relax.”
“I can’t!” Sasha felt so anxious, her heart thumping, her pulse racing.
“Sash, even if she went to the police, we’d deny everything. There’s no proof. It’s just her word against ours. Two against one.” Julian closed the door and slid down his window. “Sasha, she’s nothing.”
“She’s not nothing. The cops aren’t nothing.”
“We’re talking the Bakerton Police Department, not Interpol. I know them. Browne sponsors their baseball team.” Julian rested his hand on hers. “Listen, why don’t you stay at my place tonight, instead of a hotel? We can talk it over. Go out to dinner.”
“Maybe I will,” Sasha answered, leaving her hand in place. She knew he’d ask, and Julian was better than the chain hotels out here. She didn’t have family here anymore. Her father had moved to Singapore, and her mother to London. They’d divorced a long time ago, amicably, of course. Everything about her family was amicable. It just wasn’t intimate.
“It’s 981 Cobblestone Trail Road. I’ll call Francie, my farm manager, and she’ll let you in. I’ll be home as soon as I can.”
“Okay.” Sasha forced a smile, and Julian reversed out of the space, leaving her feeling panicky. She went to her car, climbed inside, and rummaged in her bag to find her Xanax. She popped one dry and eased back into the driver’s seat. It wouldn’t take long for the pill to work its magic.
She pulled down the visor to check her makeup, frowning at her reflection. Her skin wasn’t as pretty as it used to be, and she knew it wasn’t only from smoking, because every model she knew smoked. She was thirty-five, which was eighty in fashion years. Her crow’s-feet were deeper, and new wrinkles creased her forehead. She thought of what Julian said.
What’s happened to you? You used to be so cool.
Sasha flipped the visor up, realizing that Julian was right. What had happened with Kyle had changed her. She used to party in high school, but never like this. She used to drink, too, but she hadn’t used. She’d had goals, back then.
She thought back, with regret. She’d wanted to be a fashion designer, not a publicist. She’d dreamed of owning a fashion empire, but she didn’t earn enough to support herself, without her trust fund. She jetted from city to city, show to show, and man to man, surrounded by artists, models, and photographers. It looked like a party, but she was getting too old to be a party girl, and she had nothing to fall back on. Her parents disapproved of her lifestyle. She’d never achieved anything near either of them. She hadn’t accomplished anything.
Sasha used to win, but no longer. She’d lost something. She’d lost everything. Her direction, her drive, herself. When Julian had called her about David’s suicide, it had shaken her up. All of the memories had flooded back. She couldn’t stop thinking about Kyle.
The Xanax was kicking in, and Sasha began to feel calmer. She could acknowledge that her life was going nowhere, but it didn’t upset her. Her panic about Allie ebbed away. Sasha would be on her way to Paris tomorrow, beyond anybody’s reach.
She eyed the grassy field through the