rush in Center City. Walnut Street was only wide enough for colonial traffic, so it clogged easily. He hoped he could get a cab, but it wasn’t looking good. Alternatively he could walk to 30th Street and take the airport train, but he was cutting it close. He stuck his hand out but there were no cabs in sight, and it was drizzling.
Larry realized he’d forgotten his umbrella, preoccupied. He was always running his cases, firm business, and Allie in the back of his mind, especially when she wouldn’t return his calls. He always worried that something bad could’ve happened, because bad things happened. Not to him, because the Rucci family had the best luck on the planet. His mother won the lottery all the time, only hundred dollar increments, but still. And when the Ruccis were running late, the train would be delayed, the same with planes. Larry believed that the flight to Detroit would be delayed because things usually went his way. Allie never felt that way because her sister, Jill, had died, and it had really affected her. They talked about it in therapy all the time.
He kept his arm out, hoping to get a cab uptown, and his cell phone rang in his pocket. He kept one hand stuck out while he took his phone from his pocket with his other hand, glancing at the screen. ALLIE, it read. “Hi,” he said, picking up.
“Hey, how are you? I see I missed your calls. I was in a meeting.”
“Oh, with Jeff?” Larry asked, taking a flier. He wanted to see what she would say. If she was lying to him or if he was mistaken, which was possible.
“Yes, he says hi. We’re talking settlement, which is great.”
Larry felt a wrench in his chest. She was lying. He swallowed hard, his arm stuck out like an idiot, trying to flag down a cab that wasn’t coming. The drizzle turned to rain.
“I’m in the car now. I thought I’d pick up some groceries out here. The parking is easier. Anyway, I gotta go. What did you call about?”
“Where are you, really?” Larry asked directly.
“I told you, I’m driving in the subs.”
“No, you’re not. I know you’re not. I spoke to Jeff’s secretary. He’s on vacation.” Larry couldn’t stop himself now, even if he wanted to. The truth was out, and he was speaking from his heart. “Allie, are you having an affair?”
The line went silent.
“You’re having an affair?” Larry repeated, shocked.
“No.”
“Then where are you? Why are you lying to me? Why can I never reach you? What is it with you?” Larry felt wetness in his eyes and tilted his head down, hiding his face. He wasn’t supposed to be crying on the streets of Center City. He was a litigator with a logo messenger bag.
“I can’t explain now, I’m driving.”
But Larry knew he’d caught her in a lie. “What’s the matter with us? Why aren’t you happy? Why aren’t you ever going to be happy, no matter what I do? Allie, I’m miserable, I’m telling you now. Miserable. I’m doing the counseling, I’m trying everything, I fight with i-words, I’m trying to reach you, but I give up. I give up. It’s not supposed to be this hard.” Larry’s throat thickened. “I think we should get a divorce. I think I need a divorce. I’m going to Detroit. I’m going to be there a week. When I come home, I’ll move out.”
“Larry, no, please, you don’t.”
“Yes, I do. I want a divorce.” Larry confirmed the truth of the words as he said them. He had to give up on happy wife, happy life. He had to make himself happy. He couldn’t be happy loving somebody who never loved him back. Who wouldn’t even tell him the truth.
“Larry, you don’t mean this.”
“I’m tired of chasing you, I’m tired of trying to get you interested, keep you interested. I don’t know what I don’t have that you want, but I’m done. I love you, honey, but I’m done.” Larry held his breath to see what Allie would say, hoping she would beg him to reconsider. He’d never said divorce before because he hadn’t realized how strongly he felt, but he felt it strongly, so strongly that he didn’t even bother to flag down an empty cab three lines of traffic away.
“Larry, I’m sorry, I want to talk about this, but I can’t right now—”
“Is that it? Is that all you got, babe? Seriously? Do you know how woefully inadequate that