the twenty-year anniversary of Kyle’s death.
Barb had begun to cry, realizing that it must have been the same funeral she’d seen yesterday morning at Gardens of Peace. Sharon got her a box of Kleenex, and Barb held a tissue to her nose while Allie told them that David’s apparent suicide and Sasha’s apparent overdose were both murders, then how she’d given a statement to the authorities in New Jersey, which would result in them referring Sasha’s murder to the police in Pennsylvania, who would probably be calling Barb. Allie finished with how Julian had tried to kill her and her husband so that she would never reveal the truth about Kyle’s death. Allie ended saying that she believed Julian had loaded the gun that killed Kyle because he was jealous over Sasha. When Allie finally fell silent, tears glistened in her eyes, but she blinked them away.
“That’s the story,” Allie said, exhaling. “I am so very sorry that I didn’t speak up that night. That I didn’t stop them, that I took part in it at all. It was an awful, horrible prank, and it went tragically wrong, and it took Kyle’s life. I’m deeply sorry, and that is what I came here to say.” She paused. “Now please, ask me anything you like, and I’ll answer. Any reaction you have, I’ll understand. The least I can do for you now, and for Kyle, is to be here for you. And listen.”
Barb sat motionless, still stunned. She didn’t know what to say, how to react, or even what to think. The pink Kleenexes sat in her lap like so many crushed flowers. Her mouth felt like cotton and her heart like lead. She could barely breathe. She knew she was being told the truth, and the first coherent thought that came to her mind left her lips before she could stop herself.
“I knew he didn’t do it,” Barb said quietly. “I knew he didn’t commit suicide.”
Allie nodded, teary. “He didn’t. He had no idea it was loaded. He thought it was a joke. He even said so.”
Barb’s hand went to her chest, as if to calm her heart. She had been right, all this time. Kyle hadn’t meant to kill himself. He had been low, but he hadn’t been that low. She hadn’t missed the signs in him, after all. She hadn’t let him down, in the end. She felt horrified, but she also felt deeply validated, after twenty years. The police had been wrong.
Tears sprang to her eyes. She felt her heart ease, and her breath came a little more quickly. Suddenly, she found herself shaking her head, no. She wished she could go back in time and change it all. She wished she could tell Kyle to stay away from girls like Sasha, who would repay his kindness so cruelly, after he rescued her cat. She wished she could warn him about entitled boys like David, or deadly ones like Julian, or even well-meaning girls like Allie, who didn’t stand up for him, or themselves. But what mattered most to Barb—and it was the only glimmer of light in this awful truth—was that at least, at the very least, Kyle hadn’t killed himself.
Sharon touched Barb’s hand. “Honey, is there anything you want to say? That you want to ask her?”
“No,” Barb said after a moment. She didn’t know if she had any other words. She was just so dumbfounded. She turned to Allie. “This is so . . . shocking, and I need to think about it. I need to think about this. It changes everything.”
Allie nodded, her expression sympathetic. “I understand completely. You have my contact information, and if you ever want to talk to me, I’m there.”
Sharon sniffled. “Barb, do you mind if I say something to Allie?”
“No, of course not,” Barb answered, shaking her head. She felt numb. It was the only word.
Sharon’s attention returned to Allie, and her dark eyes flashed. “Allie, I know you’re not trying to alleviate your own guilt by coming here. Good luck with that. You and your little friends did a horrible, horrible thing to a wonderful young man. You handed him a gun, and you pressured him to shoot himself.”
“I know, and I’m very sorry.” Allie nodded.
Barb tensed at Sharon’s anger, but didn’t blame her. Sharon had loved Kyle, too, and she was entitled to her feelings.
Sharon scowled, leaning closer to Allie. “And don’t think this is the end of it. I’m going to check out the story,