speaking from experience because it did happen to me, and to Kyle. It ruined our lives.”
“Only if you let it.”
“I’m trying not to, but my ex is the gift that keeps on giving. We were doing great until this happened. Well, maybe not great.” Barb hesitated. “You know, I think Kyle might be drinking.”
“How do you know?”
“I smell it on him from time to time, after his walks. I asked him once. He said no.”
Sharon frowned. “Where does he get it?”
“I don’t know. I only keep wine in the house now. I never leave an open bottle anymore.”
“Don’t sweat it. I told you I caught Susie last month with a flask. Can you believe that, a flask, of all things?”
Barb closed the fridge door. “Let’s go.”
CHAPTER 39
Allie Garvey
Allie lay in bed, a soggy mess. Her head thundered, her mouth tasted terrible. Her nose was clogged, and used Kleenexes lay crumpled around her. She looked at the clock beside the bed and realized it wasn’t her Westclox. It was Jill’s clock. She was in Jill’s bedroom. She must’ve stumbled in by mistake. She hadn’t been in here since Jill died.
Allie looked around the darkness. She tried to think through the fog in her brain. Tears spilled from her eyes, and she reached for Kleenex. She couldn’t believe that Kyle was dead. The gun wasn’t supposed to be loaded. It was supposed to be a prank. Somebody must have loaded it. She guessed it was Julian. She told herself that it was a nightmare, because that was how it felt, but it wasn’t. Kyle was dead. She had seen him shoot himself.
Suddenly she heard the sounds of her father coming home. The front door opening and closing, the jingle of his car keys in the bowl. She hadn’t heard his car because Jill’s room was in the back of the house. And there was no talking so it sounded like he was alone. Which meant her mom was still at the hospital.
Allie didn’t know whether to stay here or to run back to her own room. She started to get up, but felt like she might throw up. She turned her back to the door, pretending to be asleep. She heard her father’s steps on the stairwell. She fought the impulse to go to him, bury herself in his arms, and tell him everything. Maybe they could still help Kyle, her father would know what to do, he was sort of a doctor. Maybe there was a chance to go back to when the worst thing that happened was they hadn’t cured cystic fibrosis.
Allie curled into a ball and covered her mouth so as not to cry. Her thoughts flew through her brain, charged with panic. She couldn’t tell her father about Kyle. David had told her not to. They had all agreed not to. They would get in trouble. They’d handed Kyle the gun. They’d told her it wasn’t loaded. Her fingerprints were on the gun. All of their fingerprints were. They would get caught. They would go to jail. They were murderers.
Allie tried to calm herself. Her father was coming down the hall. She couldn’t tell him. He couldn’t take another bad thing happening. He might have a nervous breakdown, too. She had to keep it inside. She had to act normal. She lay still.
“Honey, are you in here?” Her father opened the door. “Are you awake?”
“Yes,” Allie answered, after a moment.
“Are you okay?” Her father was walking over, his footsteps creaking on the floor.
“Uh, yes.” Allie pressed her lips together not to say anything more, not to tell.
“This was a tough day. I know you miss Jill. We all do.” Her father patted her shoulder.
Allie’s eyes filled with tears. She squeezed them shut.
“Your sister wouldn’t want you to be sad, you know. She’d want you to think of the happy times we had together. She always looked on the bright side, didn’t she? And next year, the 5K will be better. We’ll grow it as a tribute to her.”
Allie couldn’t speak or she would tell him everything. She had to keep it inside.
“So, anyway, Mom’s going to stay at the hospital a while longer. But don’t worry, everything’s going to be all right. We’ll be fine. We Garveys are made of sterner stuff.” Her father leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Love you.”
“Love you, too.” Allie tried not to cry. She wasn’t made of sterner stuff. If she was, she would have stood up to