David had dismissed that, until now. His father had called him a faggot, and David thought Maybe I am.
David felt miserable, deep inside. His father made jokes about gay men who came into the store, calling them fruity and light in the loafers. If David was gay, his father would make jokes about him. And maybe hate his guts.
He wiped his eyes, realizing he had a secret. He was getting used to being a phony. He was phony about having a happy family, because they didn’t. After the twins were born, his mother got involved with them and left him and Jason with his father, on their own sucky little island.
David didn’t want to think anymore. He got up, went to his computer, logged on to AIM, and looked for Allie.
CHAPTER 28
Allie Garvey
Allie lay on her side, watching the clock on the nightstand, an electric Westclox that glowed so bright at night that she had to cover it with her panties. It was seven minutes after five o’clock, which was ninety-five minutes after Jill had died, one year ago. Allie had cried so much that her eyes actually burned. She was still in her Jog For Jill shirt, and the late-day sun came through the window. She had been so shocked to see Sasha upstairs, and Sasha looked like she felt sorry for her, which was even worse than her laughing her ass off.
Allie’s father was downstairs, unable to deny anymore that her mother was in bad shape. Aunt Fran had said her mother was having a nervous breakdown and wouldn’t even come in from the car. Her father had gone out to talk to her, and Allie had watched from her bedroom window, horrified that her mother had refused to speak to him. Her father had pounded on the car window, honey, what is it, what did I do, but Aunt Fran had shouted at him, yelling that her mother needed to be admitted inpatient somewhere, then she’d gotten in the car and driven away, leaving her father standing in the driveway.
The neighbors had peeked out their front doors to see what was going on, and Mr. Selig across the street abandoned his riding mower and hurried inside his house. Allie had watched, trying not to cry as her father had shuffled inside, stunned.
Their house had fallen quiet and still. Half her family was gone. Her sister was dead. Her mother was crazy. Her father was probably sitting at the kitchen table, his glasses off and his hands over his face, hiding from someone, maybe himself. He was an orthodontist, used to straightening what was crooked, but families were always crooked, or at least the Garveys were.
Allie wondered if David was online, so she went to her computer, and logged on to AOL to find that he’d messaged her.
She wiped her eyes.
CHAPTER 29
Allie Garvey
Allie entered the woods, walking next to David. It had come as a surprise when he’d IMed her to meet the others by the tree, and she’d put on a sundress with purple flowers and twisted her hair into a topknot, which turned out like a fancy updo. Plus she had on her sandals with ribbons that crossed at the ankle, which made her feel like a ballerina. She’d left the house quickly, telling her father she was going to Sasha’s. He’d been sitting in the kitchen like she had expected, but she’d fled out the door.
“Hey.” David took her hand with an easy smile, in his red bandanna, white Lacoste polo, and long shorts.
Allie’s heart pounded, and she felt a surge of happiness. He must like her if he held her hand. They walked through the woods together, with David moving branches aside for her. His hand felt so good, except for his palm. “Your hand’s scratchy.”
“It’s calluses from tennis.”
“Oh.” Allie kicked herself for saying something so dumb. “Anyway, I’m on page forty-three of your book.”
“You made progress.” David smiled again.
“I’m slow, though.” Allie stepped over some old leaves, not to mess up her sandals.
“Slow but steady wins the race.” David looked over. “I saw there was that 5K today for your sister. How’d it go?”
Allie forced a smile. She wasn’t going to tell him everything, or even anything. She wanted to change the subject. “So why did Sasha want us to come tonight?”
“For fun.”
“Oh.” Allie prayed that Sasha didn’t tell the others about the fight at her house. The Barrows, Brownes, and Hybrinskis were such normal families compared to hers, which was a mess.