if there was, I know my place man.”
“I know that look in your eyes Fin. I get it man. I really do. I don’t need you to open your goddamn mouth and tell me what I already see, but I can say this, I respect the fuck out of you for not actin’ on it while I’m here. But, when I’m gone I’m glad to know that she’s gonna have someone to help her through it all,” I tell him in all honesty.
Most men wouldn’t understand. Hell, I barely understand it myself. Admitting that your wife is going to need another man later in life is a hard thing to swallow. You have to really trust in who they are and I do.
“Where the fuck are you goin’?” he asks as his eyes come to rest on mine.
“After I get Tom I’m goin’ after Ramirez. He fucked me over. He came after my family, my club. I climbed into bed with that motherfucker, but I sure as fuck will crawl my way back out.”
Fin watches me intently and shakes his head slowly from side to side. “You said it yourself Reaper, if you go back in you ain’t comin’ back out. Why the hell would you wanna do that shit? You got your kid and your woman here,” he asks me clearly confused.
“My kid’s dyin’ Fin. There ain’t shit I can do about it. I’m not leavin’ this world without cause brother, and protectin’ what’s mine seems like a damn good cause.”
Fin watches me as his face remains passive. “You’re really losin’ your shit here Reaper. You’re my best goddamn friend and you know it,” Fin snaps roaring loudly.
“And that’s exactly why I’m askin’ you to take care of her Fin. I see the connection there. I don’t care if there is nothin’ between the two of you. I just need you to tell me that you’ll take care of her.”
I can nearly hear myself begging him. If that’s what it takes then I’ll be man enough to do it. Molly has had one hell of a life already and without me or Drake I don’t think she’ll be able to move on with her life. I need to know that someone is going to be there for her. The club will always have my back. I know this, but I mean on an emotional level.
“Fuck man,” Fin says tugging at his hair. “I’ll be there Reaper. You know I’d do anything for you. This is beyond fucked up though.”
“I know Fin. I know it is, but movin’ forward I need to know that this shit is covered. It just calms me, ya know? I need to know that when I’m not here that she has someone to rely on. She ain’t gonna make it by herself. I know her man.”
“She won’t have to,” Fin says looking down at his hands. “I ain’t goin’ anywhere.”
Chapter 27
Molly
I lie with my eyes closed tightly on the bed in Roland’s room. My heart feels too heavy in my chest. I’ve never known true pain until the doctor said his health was declining. I never knew what true heartbreak was. Loosing Roland hurt, but losing my son hurts far more than anything in the world. I swallow hard and will the tears away. I should be in there with Drake, but seeing his little sleeping body lying there so peacefully almost broke me and I knew I needed to step out for a minute.
Every time I look at him another piece of me dies. I wonder if this is what Crow felt? Did he suffer through for so long until he finally snapped? I can’t imagine a life without my son in it. He’s my light, my star, and my rock.
The door creaks open and Roland walks in with a solemn and sad look on his face.
“You okay? Taz was lookin’ for you,” he says as he closes the door behind him.
“I don’t know anymore,” I admit. It’s the truth. I don’t know how I will ever be okay with this.
“I understand that. I’m right here with you babe.”
He slides his cut down his arms and tosses it into the chair before he slips his shirt over his head. I can’t help but watch the way he moves. The way his muscles ripple with every move. Roland was never a skinny guy, but he is so filled out and full of strength now.
“You’re droolin’,” he teases me with a perfect smile on his face.
“You’re