and Molly with me. Let them see the sights in Georgia, if Drake is even still around.
That thought alone send chills up my spine.
Chapter 19
Molly
I watch Drake and Roland toss the football back and forth to each other in the backyard. It’s the little things like this that I hate that Roland missed. I hate myself for making him miss out on these things. The smile on his face couldn’t get much bigger. He’s so damn proud of his son.
“They are adorable together,” Taz says as she sits down in the chair next to me.
“They are.”
“Thanks for offering to hold the cookout here. I don’t like having it at the clubhouse. Too close to the main road. People end up getting pissy about it,” Taz says looking over at me.
“Roland didn’t mind. I thought it would be nice anyway. Drake and I have been holed up in this house for too long. It’s nice to have people over,” I say back to her. Her smile is huge.
“I’m happy to see him happy. It’s been a long time since he’s smiled like that.”
I love Taz. She may be a little older than me, but she has a heart of gold. She takes care of everyone the way she would her own kids, and these are grown men. It does my heart good to know that Roland will have her once I’m gone.
“You love them all, don’t you?” I ask.
She looks over at me and nods, “Like they’re my own. We’re all one big family. There’s a family here that not everyone has. We’re lucky to have it. I’m just happy to say that you’re a part of it now.” She reaches over and grabs my hand.
My chest tightens. How is she going to feel when I leave? How is Roland going to react? God it hurts so much to even think about it.
“Hey babe, come here,” Roland calls out to me.
I smile as I shove out of the chair and walk toward him. I take in his eyes, his smile. Everything about him is absolute perfection. I love that man more than I ever thought it was possible I could, and soon I’m going to have to rip his heart in half once more. I have to remember that it’s all for the best. I have to believe that I’m doing the right thing, or I might rethink it all.
“Hey you. You two look good out here,” I say fluffing up Drake’s hair.
“Dad said I’m good enough to try out for the team. He thinks I have a good arm,” Drake squeals with happiness.
“Oh yeah? You think you’d like to do that?” I ask.
“Yeah, that would be awesome. I can kick too. Watch!”
Drake turns and runs with the ball in his hands. Roland moves to stand behind me and wraps his arms around my waist holding me tight against him.
“He’s perfect Mols. Just fuckin’ perfect,” he whispers in my ear.
“No, he’s everything.”
As I watch my son play football and laugh my inside start to churn. I can’t imagine my life without him. A sob bubbles up in my throat before it comes out.
“It’s okay darlin’. He’s strong. He’s gonna pull through this. We just have to have faith in that,” Roland says softly.
“I just don’t know what I’m going to do with him. What am I going to do Roland? What are we going to do?”
“I’m gonna love you Mols. We’re gonna miss him every day together when that time comes, but for right now he’s here. He’s with us and that’s all we can focus on for now. We can’t live in the future.”
God, I know he’s right. It’s just so hard not to think about it.
“Come on mom,” Drake yells with the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on his face.
I wipe my eyes and pull out of Roland’s arms to run toward him. He throws me the ball and as soon as I catch it I can hear Roland yell, “Tackle.” Before I can respond or even think about it Roland lifts me by the waist and pulls me to the ground with Drake right behind him.
“Hold her down. Make her laugh Drake. Don’t let her up until she’s laughin’,” Roland says around his own laugh.
Drake tickles my sides as we all roll around on the ground. In this moment it really hits me. We’re laughing and playing like a family. We’re a family. This is the family we should have always been.
“Okay, I give up. You win,” I