in the smoke he was letting out, filling my lungs with his cancer while loving him with all my heart.
However tonight there’s no smoke.
He’s simply standing there, casualness dripping from his body like river. But I know better. I know he’s tense, I can tell by the rigid slope of his shoulders and how messy his hair looks. I bet some strands have come down to brush against his forehead.
I wish I could go to him and swipe them away. But I can’t.
Because he’s not alone and it’s not my right, is it?
It’s my sister’s right and she’s standing in front of him, matching him in every way. His looks, his confidence, his height. The way she’s dressed in casual professional wear or whatever it’s called: a pleated skirt and a silk blouse with her hair done up in a French twist. Or at least that’s what she called it when Leah asked.
She only has to crane her neck a little when she says, “You didn’t have to walk out like that.”
“No, I had to,” he says flippantly.
“I was talking.”
“I know.”
“So what, this is better? Standing out here. In this dark spot.”
“It’s my favorite spot, actually. I usually come out here when I want to escape. Like for example, when people are talking and I have no interest in what they’re saying. But for some reason, they can’t take the hint and shut the fuck up.”
“You…” My sister exhales sharply. “That’s so rude, A.”
“Rude.” He chuckles slightly. “Yeah, I’m that. Although, I believe the correct term is asshole.”
“What?” It’s kind of dark and they’re both more or less silhouettes so I can’t really know for sure but I know my sister is probably wrinkling her nose right now.
“Yeah, it’s strangely satisfying,” Arrow drawls. “It does get you slapped in the face sometimes. But I guess that comes with the territory.”
“Excuse me?”
“It’s worth it though.”
My nails dig into the wood and I bite my lip, feeling a rush of electricity go through me.
It was me; I slapped him. And I call him asshole.
I call him that all the time.
And I’m filled with such need to go to him right now but I grind my knees on the floor.
Because I can’t.
You can’t, Salem. You absolutely cannot go to him now.
Once they get back together and the wedding is back on, I’m going to have to find a way to run and leave them alone.
“What are you talking about?” my sister asks, exasperated.
Arrow hums. “I don’t think you’ll understand. It’s a little above your paygrade. So what do you want?”
My sister sighs. “A, we really need to talk.”
“We don’t really need to talk because nobody ever really needs to talk,” he says. “People talk because they want to. And I find that I really don’t want to.”
“A, please,” she says determinedly. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you but it’s high time. You’ve been ignoring all my calls and texts.”
“Again, that’s usually a sign when someone really doesn’t want to talk.”
Sarah shakes her head, her hair shining under the meager light of the moon. “Look, I don’t want to fight with you. I just want to have a conversation. I just want to figure this out.”
“Funny. Because I was under the impression that there wasn’t anything left to figure out.”
“There is and we can do it. I know we can do it. We can do anything, you and me. We’re a team.” She moves closer to him. “I’ve been working very hard for you, A. You have no idea.”
Even though it’s dark, I still notice the stiffness in Arrow’s body. It’s not just limited to his shoulders now. It has gone on and clutched all his limbs and even his voice.
“Well, why don’t you give me an idea then?”
“The whole team has been affected by your actions. We probably won’t even make it to the semi-finals now. Rodriguez is not as good as you and you know that. The team is mad, A. They blame you. Their trust in you and your judgement has been shaken. I’m the only one on your side and I’m putting out fires everywhere,” my sister replies eagerly. “People are still waiting for you to apologize. But I told them to give you time. I told them you’d do the right thing. Because I care about you. I love you. I want you back on the team. I want you back in my life.”
There’s silence for a few beats after that.
When my heart is pounding and pounding.
This