remember?”
“Yes.”
His eyes bore into mine. “Now, I’m saying it to you. I’ll do everything I can to make you happy. I’ll tear my heart out and throw it at your feet if I have to. Because it’s yours. My heart that I thought I’d killed is yours. It beats for you, Salem. Like a crazy fucking maniac that doesn’t know when to quit. And if you want, you can stomp on it and set it on fire and stab it with a knife. You can do whatever you want to it, it will still be alive. It will still beat for you. Just give me—”
“I won’t,” I whisper and he freezes.
It’s okay though.
It’s okay because I’m about to tell him as well.
All the things.
All the pretty, lovely things.
“I won’t stomp on it.” I lean my body against his, giving him my softness, and he grabs onto it. “I can’t. Because you’re that guy for me too. You’ve always been that guy for me, Arrow.”
“What guy?” he rasps and I hear the sweet tinkling of hope in it.
“The one who makes me feel warm,” I reply, hardly believing that I get to tell him, hardly believing that he loves me. “The one who protects me and takes me out on rides. Who buys me ice cream and complains about my chick flicks but still watches them with me, who makes all the rules that I love to break. You’re the guy who gave me this.” I fish out the chain from under my sweater and show it to him. “I put it on the day you gave it to me. I’ve had it on for two weeks now.”
He licks his lips, his fingers fisting in my hair and his body pushing into mine. “I don’t want you to take it off. Ever.”
I suck in my stomach at his rough, commanding tone. “I won’t. So you see? I know that you hurt me, and you made me cry.” I raise my arms up and around his neck and he snakes his hands down to my waist. “And you’ll probably make me cry in the future as well. But it’s okay. Because you’re the guy I’ll cry for. Because you’re also the guy who’ll wipe off all my tears when I do. So we’ll figure it out. Together.”
"Together.”
“Yeah. Together. That’s what I’ve always wanted, you know? I’ve always wanted to be your girl, and when I came here tonight, I was so scared. I was terrified that I wasn’t –”
“You are,” he says fiercely. “You are that girl. My girl.”
“Your girl.”
“Yeah.”
I smile at him and a rush of a breath escapes him then.
A huge gust of a breath.
It sways the loose hair on my forehead and warmth explodes in my chest.
Warmth and fire and flowers.
The whole world of emotions sprouts up just under my skin but then something occurs to me. “Oh my God, wait.”
He goes alert. “What?”
I fist his hair. “I’m going to St. Mary’s tomorrow.”
Arrow slowly relaxes, his fingers resuming their kneading of the flesh on my waist, his nose bumping against mine. “I know. I’m taking you, remember?”
“But Arrow.” I squeeze my thighs around his body because holy shit, how can he be so clueless? “They won’t let me have any privileges, you idiot. After what I did, and I don’t think I can sneak out anymore.”
He throws me a lopsided smile. “So then, I’ll call you every Saturday. We’ll talk for ten whole minutes. And when they have visiting weekends, I’ll be the first one at the gate.”
“You will?”
“Fuck yeah.”
“And when you go back? To LA?”
His jaw clamps shut, stubbornly. “I told you soccer can wait.”
“But you have to go sometime. You have to –”
“I don’t have to do anything.”
“But –”
“Shh. I don’t care about that right now,” he whispers. “You said we’ll figure things out, right?”
I bite my lip. “Yeah.”
“So that’s what we’ll do. We’ll figure it all out.”
I look into his blue eyes.
Determined and burning and blazing.
There was a time when they reminded me of calm summers. But now they remind me of a hot flame.
Of wild, savage fire.
Fire that I love. Fire that made me believe in myself, inspired me to be more.
I know that fire, his fire, can burn down the world, if it comes to that.
So he’s right.
We’ll figure it out, me and him. All of it. All of the things that are uncertain but don’t really matter if we wanna be together.
For now, I’ll just revel in this moment.
I’ll just revel in