line. Though she’s never made me feel like I’m a burden to her, she’s never made me feel particularly warm and fuzzy either.
So her sudden change was kind of surprising.
What was even more surprising was the fact that after I was discharged, she gave me two weeks off from St. Mary’s. I would’ve understood her giving me a couple of days off, especially since the doctor said that I needed my rest, but two weeks was a lot. Even though that period included Thanksgiving break.
But that’s not the most surprising thing.
The most epic surprise was when she came into my room one night and told me that if I didn’t want to return to St. Mary’s at all, she was okay with it. She even apologized about Miller and how it was her fault that she gave Miller free rein because she’d always been so busy with out-of-town meetings and conferences.
She continued, “I’ve always been hard on him, on Arrow. Extremely hard. Harder than necessary. Harder than… what’s humane even. I told myself that I was trying to mold him into someone Atticus would be proud of. But now I think maybe I was doing it because I missed my husband. I missed him so much that I wanted to keep him alive. Through my son.”
Before I could even attempt to respond to that, respond to her frank words about how she’s treated Arrow, she ducked her head and cleared her throat.
“This came for you.” She had a gray envelope in her hand that I’d somehow missed, and she put it on my dresser. “I’m glad he has you.”
She left then, leaving me stunned.
That was the first letter from him, two weeks ago.
In which he told me that he’d leave a letter just like the one I was holding in the mailbox every day.
That’s why I’m here tonight, in front of his motel door.
Because I want to know what it all means.
I want to know why he’s doing these things. Why isn’t he leaving? Why does Leah think he has me when he doesn’t even want me?
If this is some crazy attempt to pay for what he thinks is his mistake, then I want him to stop.
I want him to stop torturing me, making me fall in love with him even more.
Before I can talk myself out of it because holy fuck I’m terrified and this feels exactly like the night I came over to stop him from leaving, I knock at his door.
Two loud sharp knocks that make my knuckles throb.
I rub them to chase the sting away and the door whips open before I’ve even finished the task.
And he’s there.
Right in front of me. Only a few feet away.
The love of my life.
This is the first time I’m seeing him after that day at the hospital, and he looks… exactly the same.
Standing at the threshold, wearing a pair of washed out jeans and his gray V-neck t-shirt, he looks burned out, my sun.
He still has darkness under his brilliant blue eyes and his features are still all razor sharp and severe.
“Salem,” he says in a rough voice.
In a voice that sounds unused.
My lips part. “Hey.”
“What the fuck are you doing here?” he snaps, his brows pulled together in a frown.
It’s the same question he asked me the other night too, and like that night, my nerves mount but I try to calm myself.
I try to seem unruffled.
“I came to see you,” I say.
“How did you get here?” he asks – again the same question from the other night, which is not helping me stay calm but again, I try.
“I took a cab.”
Something about that makes him clamp his jaw and stare at me severely. “What the fuck are you thinking? You just got out of the hospital. You’re supposed to be resting. You’re supposed to be getting better.”
Despite all my attempts to stay unaffected, I fist my hands at my sides. “I got out of the hospital two weeks ago. It was a minor blood sugar thing. I am better.”
“If you keep running around town like this, you won’t be. You’re not supposed to stress yourself out. That’s what the doctor said, didn’t he?”
“How do you know what the doctor said? You were never there.”
At this, a resigned look comes over his face. “That’s not the point.”
“Did Leah tell you?”
He remains silent but I get my answer and then fuck being calm.
Fuck being collected.
“So you’ve been talking about me to Leah. But you haven’t come to see me.”
Because