enough.
Until him.
Until he told me that I was and made me realize that I could do it.
I’d forgotten about it actually.
Because of everything.
And I realize now that if he hadn’t given me this, I never would’ve remembered.
“You filled out my application and gave me a recommendation letter?” I repeat when I look up, feeling… floored.
Overwhelmed.
And in so much pain.
“Yeah. I…” He clamps his jaw before swallowing. “I’ve never seen anyone like you – play like you do. You’re talented, Salem. You’re very fucking talented and no matter what you decide to do with it, I want you to know that you have my support. You have my belief.” He swallows again, the blue in his eyes shining. “I believe in you. I believe that you can go places. Should you choose to.”
I could drown in the blue of his eyes.
I could drown in the warmth he’s causing in my body. I could drown in my love for him. In his belief. In me.
I could drown and die.
Not only that I could throw myself at him too.
I could throw myself at his feet, wrap my hands around his leg and let myself be dragged through the streets, trailing behind him as he leaves.
Just to slow him down. Just to stop him.
Just to be with him.
I could do all of that and I could do it all right this second.
The very things I promised that I wouldn’t do.
All because he believes in me when no one else has ever done that.
That’s why I hug the envelope to my chest and blink.
I also nod and whisper, “Thank you. Uh, can you call me a cab, please? I’d like to go back.”
His eyes flare as if taken aback. “What?”
I hug the envelope tighter, dig my nails in my waist. “Please?”
At this, resignation washes over his face and he jerks out a nod. “I’ll take you back.”
I don’t argue; the less time spent in his company, the better.
So I nod too and with a last look at me, he moves.
He goes into the bathroom, grabs a shirt and puts it on, even though he’s sweaty from his workout. Grabbing his keys with tight movements, he strides to the door. He jerks it open for me and I walk through it.
And then, we’re riding back to St. Mary’s, me sitting behind his back, clutching his rigid frame and the envelope.
Hugging the love of my life and his belief in me.
His precious, immeasurable, invaluable belief.
Like the cab ride, I don’t remember this ride either, which is a shame because this is my last ride on a motorcycle.
I always knew that if I can’t ride with him, I wouldn’t wanna ride at all.
Soon it comes to an end, my last ride.
Soon, I’m climbing off his bike and standing on the ground. I’m looking at his face, his beautiful, stunning face. Sharp, jutting features.
My Arrow.
Even though he had a helmet on, his hair’s all messy, half damp from his workout and half falling over his brows, framing his navy eyes.
Eyes that have such intense, intense emotions.
Hugging the envelope to my chest, I say, “I…”
His hands on the handlebar flex and he says in a voice that sounds both eager and low, “You what?”
“I, uh, always thought, back when we lived together, that you were this perfect guy,” I say, biting my lip and I notice another flex, this one on his jaw. “You were so calm and determined and focused, you know? So dedicated to the game, to your goals. I don’t think I’d ever seen anyone with your focus. Not even my sister or my mom. I admired that about you. A lot. The Blond Arrow.
“But then years later, I got to know you. I actually got to know you. I mean, it’s funny because I had all these plans of going away and you were somewhere else. But somehow we ended up in the same place. But anyway, I got to know a different side of you. A new side. This guy who smokes because he’s stressed out. This guy who can get really angry when his trust is broken. Who can be so vulnerable and strong and tortured all at the same time. This guy who can be so mean and rude. Sometimes so much that I wanna smack him. But then sometimes he can be so sweet, you know?”
I chuckle brokenly. “I want to say that… I like that guy. That Arrow. And it hurts me that you think that guy is a failure. That