past two days, she’s been kinda sick. I mean, it comes and goes. Like yesterday, she was throwing up in the morning but she was fine all day after that. Today too, she had a bout of vomiting before walking over for breakfast.
I don’t know what’s going on.
Maybe it’s some kind of a stomach bug.
But whatever this is, we have decided that if it doesn’t get better soon – as she keeps insisting – we’ll drag her to the nurse ourselves.
So maybe going out is a good thing.
Although I don’t think anything can cheer me up, not for a very long time. But if it helps Callie then I’m all for it.
That’s why hours later, I stack my pillows on the bed and cover them with a blanket before tiptoeing out of the room. I walk down the darkened hallway and meet the girls at the exit.
However, instead of pushing the door open, they all give me grave looks.
Callie, who looks as healthy as ever, even after what happened in the morning, is the first to speak. “Okay so, don’t freak out.”
As soon as she says that my heart starts pounding and it must be visible on my face because Poe swats Callie’s arm. “You’re freaking her out by saying that.”
Callie grimaces. “Yikes. Sorry. I honestly just wanted to curb the blow.”
The blow.
My heart gets stuck in my throat at this and I slip and stutter with my words. “W-what…”
When I can’t complete my sentence, Wyn steps in. “You’re both freaking her out.”
She grabs my arm and smiles. Although there’s nothing happy about it as she says, “He’s leaving.”
“What?”
Poe touches my shoulder to get my attention. “I heard it through someone last night. Arrow’s leaving. Coach TJ is gonna be the main coach until they can find a replacement. They’ll probably make the announcement tomorrow.”
Callie gives me a sympathetic look. “We didn’t wanna say anything before. Because you wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it.”
“But you can now,” Wyn says.
“Yeah, go to him.” That’s Poe.
They’re all standing around me, holding some part of my body, my arms, my shoulders, as they tell me that I should go to him and do something about it.
Only I don’t know what.
I don’t know what I can do if he’s leaving.
He’s leaving.
Leaving.
I mean, I knew that he was gonna leave but I didn’t know it was gonna be this soon. That it was gonna be just two days after I told him that I love him.
That’s why he’s leaving, isn’t he?
Because I told him I loved him.
Because now he thinks that I’m gonna be declaring my love to him every two seconds. He probably thinks that I’m gonna throw myself at him like I’ve done countless times before.
Take your love and get out of my face…
And oh God, I have to tell him.
I have to tell him that I won’t. That I won’t bother him or make his life harder.
I won’t go to him or talk to him or be all dramatic about it.
In fact, I promised myself that I won’t even watch him around St. Mary’s. I won’t watch him in the hallways or in the dining room, in the library or on the soccer field.
So this is stupid, him leaving.
“I have to stop him,” I burst out, finally coming to a conclusion.
I also do it loud.
Louder than I should have because the girls quiet down around me. They all give me startled looks and I shake my head. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean to be so –”
“No, it’s okay. Go.” Callie squeezes my shoulder.
“Yeah, I called you a cab. So you should be good,” Poe tells me with a determined nod.
“But… what about us going out?”
Poe waves her hand. “That was just a hoax. Something we had to tell you so you’d be ready at midnight.”
Wyn smiles proudly. “I came up with that.”
Despite everything, I chuckle.
Gosh, they’ve thought of everything, haven’t they?
My friends, and they don’t even know the whole story yet.
Who would’ve thought that I’d make friends at a reform school? That I’d love them all to pieces.
And that they’d push me out the door when I just stand there, feeling overwhelmed and flabbergasted, so I could go and stop the love of my life.
But as soon as the night air hits me, I take off at a run.
I’m filled with determination and purpose.
I’m filled with calmness. Or as much calmness as I can be filled with at a time like this. At a time when he is leaving.
Because