asshole. I can’t believe you said that to me. I can’t believe you would… I’ll never do that to my sister, you understand? Ever. It hurt me, it actually hurt me that you guys broke up. Because you guys are being stupid and stubborn and I wanted you to get back together. I wanted to help you guys get back together. God, I’m an idiot, aren’t I?” I shake my head. “Stay away from me. And stay away from my sister. She is better off without you.”
My palm still burns.
It’s been twenty-four hours and I think it still shines scarlet, the heel of my palm. With which I touched him.
For the very first time, no less.
Yeah, the first time I really touched the guy I love, I smacked him. Not once but twice. And he deserved it by the way, for saying those horrible things to me.
I’m not going to pretend that I’m some kind of a saint, a good girl. I have committed the crime of falling in love with my sister’s boyfriend.
I have committed the crime of wanting him and craving him and watching him while he was with her. I’ve always considered myself dangerous, a ticking time bomb.
That’s why I was running away that night. That’s why I will run away when I get my chance again.
But not once, not in my entire life, have I thought despicable things about my sister.
If I’d blown up like a bomb that I am, I would’ve done it for love. I would’ve done it because my heart got so swollen with wrong cravings and secret longings that it burst out of my chest on its own.
Not for revenge. Never for revenge.
And I won’t let him think such despicable thoughts either. I can’t let him be that angry and hurt and miserable. So miserable that he’s thinking of hurting someone else.
So, I’ve come to a decision. It has two parts.
The first part includes getting him to apologize to me.
Yes, I’m forcing him to apologize and be nice. Because I can’t live in a world where Arrow Carlisle is a grade-A asshole.
I cannot accept the fact that the guy I’ve been in love with for eight years is mean and cruel. So I’m going to force him to be decent.
And the second part is ending his pain once and for all.
I know my sister has asked me to not interfere. I know that.
But I’m going to.
Because he’s hurting and she must be hurting too.
Breakups are tough and if I can do something to curb their pain, then I will. Besides, this is the least I can do after betraying my sister in secret for years.
Although I’m not sure how I will accomplish this big feat. But I’m working on it. For now though, I need to make him apologize to me.
I look for him all day at school but I don’t see him anywhere. He’s not in his office either; I went and checked. I even wanted to ask Coach TJ about him but I stopped myself lest I appear overly familiar and step over any more of my boundaries.
When school is done and night falls, we sneak out again.
This time it’s my idea.
Because like a fool, I think I might see him again at the bar like last week. I might find him there, looking for his next distraction.
My chest squeezes when I think that. When I think of him looking for a way to get rid of all his anger.
Will you be my rebound girl, Salem?
I wanted it, didn’t I?
God, how badly did I want it.
I would’ve said yes. I was going to say yes. I was going to say yes to becoming his distraction, an object that he uses, just because I’m so crazy in love with him.
If only he hadn’t said those words. If only he hadn’t been a giant fucking asshole.
Anyway, we’re at the bar now.
Like the last time, I have lipstick on. It’s called Dream Broken Darling, a melancholic and dark shade of coral and brown, which suits my mood perfectly.
Just like the song that’s playing overhead: “Sad Girl” by Lana Del Rey, the queen who makes music for doomed and heartbroken girls like me.
My mind is on the song and my hips are already swaying to it, and probably that’s why I don’t see the obstacle in front of me until I’ve crashed into its back.
It’s Wyn.
Who in turn crashes into Poe, who bumps into Callie.
Coming out of my melancholy, I frown. “What’s up? Why